Elijah the Amazing Micropreemie Miracle!

Other plans for Elijah!

2011-12-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

It is amazing to see Elijah walking, something we had been told he may not do, but God has other plans for our little miracle!

I have been nostalgic for the past couple of weeks, maybe it is the upcoming Christmas season. I don't know. While we were decorating our tree, the first thing I pulled out was the tiny blue stockings I bought 3 years ago, in memory of what would have been Lucas and David's first Christmas. I try not to think about what it would have been like, having three little Elijah's running around, wreaking havoc! I know that two of my boy's celebrate in heaven, and what better place to celebrate the birth of Christ? It is hard not to have them here with us though.

It is human to question why, but I know God has and is working through this situation. Sometimes I feel like he is so far away, but I know from experience, that God is near. I heard someone who almost lost his wife in a car accident say, "God knows my name." That is the way it is, God does know our names, he loves us on a personal level. He was very present in my life during that time of need, and yes, he is still here.

He sent angels to comfort me, in human form. I was so far from home, I felt so alone, I met so many people during that time. Some who I spent a lot of time with and some who only touched my life for a moment, all of them were important, and all of them helped me in some way. I am amazed at the complete strangers who became dear friends, who sat up with me late at night, those who laughed and cried with me. I will never forget them, they were a gift from God. Whenever I despair about the evil in this world I take hope from knowing that, yes, their are dear kind people in this world. God puts them right where you need them. I am so thankful!

I hope everyone who reads this has a blessed Christmas. I have included some pictures of our little miracle walking, the one the doctors gave no hope, the one who wasn't supposed to make it through the night, the one who was never going to walk, who turned three last spring, and whose smile lights up a room. Yes, there are miracles, you can deny it all you want, but I have one living right here with me!

Peek a Boo!

Elijah climbing!

Elijah walking!

Elijah running!

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Update on our little rascal!

2011-11-12T12:19:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, we have been busy. Elijah is still attending school and he is doing well. He is walking now but is still pretty unsteady. We are looking into a walker to help him with balance, though the doctors and therapist feel confident that he won't be dependant on it for long! We have to think about safety though, we have already visited the emergency room and he had five staples put in his head after a fall.

Poor little guy has been through so much that he don't feel pain like the rest of us. He never cried when he hit his head, I just noticed the blood pouring down his face. When the doctor put in the staples Elijah didn't even flinch. Having a child who doesn't feel much pain can be scary. When he falls I often have to check him over, he could have a broke bone and we wouldn't even notice it right away, that is a scary thought!

Here are a couple recent pictures of Elijah, he is getting so big!

After everything he has been through he is the happiest of little boy's!

Elijah and a friend!

BIG UPDATE!

2011-07-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

I only have a moment, but wanted to let everyone know... Elijah is.....

WALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know how amazing that is!! God is so good! I promise to post more soon with a picture!!

Happy Birthday!

2011-05-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Elijah turned three in April. We celebrated with his big brother at a birthday bash at fun expedition! What a fun day! Elijah is such a miracle, 1lb 8oz at birth, a TTTS survivor, multiple surgeries, and a CP diagnosis. Yet he continues to astound all of us at the progress that he has made and continues to make! At a week old the doctors told us he would not make it through the night! Look at him now! Happy third my little miracle!

My miracle birthday boy!

My TTTS story....

2011-03-03T06:40:00.001-08:00

As most of you know, the reason Elijah and his brothers were born early is a disease called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS), here is some information on TTTS that I got from the TTTS foundation web page, a great resource!

*Twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) is a disease of the placenta (or afterbirth) that affects identical twin pregnancies.

*TTTS affects identical twins (or higher multiple gestation's), who share a common monochorionic placenta.

*The shared placenta contains abnormal blood vessels, which connect the umbilical cords and circulations of the twins.

*The common placenta may also be shared unequally by the twins, and one twin may have a share too small to provide the necessary nutrients to grow normally or even survive

*The events in pregnancy that lead to TTTS - the timing of the twinning event, the number and type of connecting vessels, and the way the placenta is shared by the twins are all random events that have no primary prevention (see section on The Monochorionic Placenta), is not hereditary or genetic, nor is it caused by anything the parents did or did not do. TTTS can happen to anyone.

My Story......

Elijah, Lucas, and David
We found out in 2008 that we were expecting triplets. We were shocked and surprised, but soon began to anticipate the arrival of our identical boy’s. At first the pregnancy seemed to be going well. I was hospitalized a few times for extreme nausea, but otherwise things looked good.

Since my pregnancy was considered high risk I was sent to a specialist. During my 21 week visit it was noticed that one baby had an excessive amount of amniotic fluid, his brothers still looked okay so I was sent home on bed rest and an appointment was made for the following week.

During my next appointment the doctor discovered that the babies were showing signs of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome a disease of the placenta that affects identical twin (or higher order multiple) pregnancies, the shared placenta contains abnormal blood vessels, which connect the umbilical cords and circulations of the twins. The common placenta may also be shared unequally by the twins, and one twin may have a share too small to provide the necessary nutrients to grow normally or even survive.

My doctor immediately contacted a specialist in Florida who does laser surgery to try and correct the problem. Within days we were driving the 12 hour trip to Florida, I was supposed to lie down the whole way due to a shortening cervix and the fear of premature labor. I spent that whole trip thinking I was going to give birth on some interstate between Virginia and Florida. After two days on the road we made it to Florida, I spent the entire day after our arrival being tested, and having multiple ultrasounds. Finally the doctor came to me and gave me several options; the one we eventually chose was laser surgery.

I barely slept the night before the surgery, we went in early the next morning and I was prepped for the procedure. I was kept awake during the whole thing because it was better for the babies. I remember being in a lot of pain but still getting excited when I saw the babies on the T.V. screen used to help the doctor guide the laser. Surgery was declared successful and the doctor said my cervix was going back to normal so a scheduled cerclage (stitch in the uterus) was cancelled. I was taken to recovery and then to the room where I was to spend the night. That night turned into a week because a few hours after surgery the membranes around baby A (David) ruptured, causing his cord and foot to prolapse into the birth canal.

I was rushed to labor and delivery where it was decided to try to hold off on delivery of baby David to give the other babies a chance, as I was only 23 weeks at the time. The week I spent in the hospital was a blur, I remember feeling David’s cord pulsing and his little foot wiggling as he tried in vain to be born. He held on for an entire week and passed away shortly before I was taken in for an emergency C-section. Baby B and C were delivered extremely premature at 24 weeks 0 days and were rushed to the NICU.

Lucas who weighed 1lb 5oz at birth fought for survival, he was such a strong and brave little boy. He was born fighting and he did not know how to do anything else but fight. He never gave up, but at one month of age it was discovered that NEC (a infection common in preemies) had destroyed his bowels. The NICU doctor told us this was not compatible with life so we held our baby while the doctors took him off of his ventilator. He died as he had lived, fighting. He fell asleep in the arms of his parents. Lucas and his brother David were both little warriors and they will always be in our hearts. They are survived by triplet brother Elijah, he spent four months in the hospital, has had multiple surgeries. At two he was diagnosed with mild Cerebral Palsy.

This story as well as others about TTTS can be found here

Information and help for TTTS can be found here

David

Lucas in the NICU

Elijah

Guest Blogger-Dennel's Twin to Twin Transfusion Story

2011-02-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, the reason Elijah and his brothers were born early is a disease called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, here is some information on TTTS that I got from the TTTS foundation web page, a great resource!

Twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) is a disease of the placenta (or afterbirth) that affects identical twin pregnancies.

TTTS affects identical twins (or higher multiple gestation's), who share a common monochorionic placenta.

The shared placenta contains abnormal blood vessels, which connect the umbilical cords and circulations of the twins.

The common placenta may also be shared unequally by the twins, and one twin may have a share too small to provide the necessary nutrients to grow normally or even survive.

The events in pregnancy that lead to TTTS - the timing of the twinning event, the number and type of connecting vessels, and the way the placenta is shared by the twins are all random events that have no primary prevention (see section on The Monochorionic Placenta), is not hereditary or genetic, nor is it caused by anything the parents did or did not do. TTTS can happen to anyone.

To raise awareness of TTTS I will be having guest blogger's who have been affected by this disease! Please visit the TTTS Foundation web page, this is very important if you or someone you know are pregnant with multiples. Find out if you are at risk. As you will see, the disease is often progresses quickly, and their are things that can be done to increase your children's chances of survival. If you are pregnant with multiples ask your doctor about your risks, if your babies share a placenta, demand weekly ultrasounds.

Please visit the Twin to Twin Transfusion Foundation for information, help, and advice.

D.

Here is Dennel's story:

*Please realize that some of the pictures included in the TTTS stories will be pictures of extremely premature and/or ill babies, some of the pictures will be babies after they have passed away, for some of us these are the only pictures we have of our children. Please be kind and if it bothers you, you don't have to look! This is the reality we live with every day, this is one of the outcomes of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. Thank You Dennel for sharing!

In May of 2006, we decided to try to get pregnant. 3 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. So there wasn't a lot of trying there! My due date was February 6, 2007. I was sick. So sick. But I always believed that whatever pain, bring it on, it's worth it to have a baby.

Around 3 months I felt a little bigger than normal. I felt baby move at 12 weeks. I suspected twins, but I though the uterus grows faster second time around. I already had a 2 1/2 year old girl. But because it's fun, after my 3 month checkup, I got a paper on houses for sale and waited for my husband to get home. I told him we needed a bigger house because we were having twins. He didn't believe me. Later that night I admitted my bluff. I was getting bigger and bigger, but I didn't worry as my ultrasound was coming up. I thought I had a 30% chance it was twins based on my suspicions.

My ultrasound was on Sept 15, 2006. I went with my husband and daughter. When the ultrasound technician looked at the screen she said, right away, so you know there's two babies in here, right? All my TTTS mommies know that wobbly feeling and that big goofy grin. I was excited. Terrified. I wanted to know what they were. I watched them on the screen and I saw a penis and said, oh, it's a boy. And by that time, she had already told us they were identical. I never thought that that would be the last time I saw my babies move.

She worked on my belly a long time, and told us she wasn't sure if one amniotic sac was big and one was little or if they were sharing one. So I was a bit in shock. Shaking. I was 19weeks and 2 days and she said they were 9 oz each and was measuring 18w4d and 19w. The heartbeats were 163.

Twins are such special people. I've always been amazed by twins. The radiologist came in after looking at pics and said everything was fine. He said that I would have to go to my doctor to be referred to a specialist. I asked, "right now?" He said no, just at your next check up. But smart me, I booked the check up for a few days later. I called everyone I knew to tell them we were having identical twin boys. My husband always wanted a boy and he had such a permanent smile on his face. If he was scared at all, he didn't let on.

I was on diclectin to help with nausea, but if I ate breakfast, I guarantee you I puked my guts out. I slept with water bottles around me because I was in such pain. I told my doctor and she said, that's just because you have two big healthy babies in there. So I sucked it up. I couldn't walk from one side of the store to the other without a rest. I wondered how I'd make it through the other half of pregnancy.

September 23: I went to work one week after my ultrasound. ( I work part time) I couldn't do it. My belly just hurt so much. Constantly. So I called my boss and she said, "Go, take care of yourself. Don't worry about work." So I called the doctors office. They said if I was in that much pain, go to the hospital. Reluctantly, I did. They did the blood work and urine work and did the heartbeats. Everything was fine. They asked what my pain tolerance was like. They made me feel like I was just a hypochondriac. But I didn't feel OK. I didn't.
They suggested Tylenol. I told them I didn't believe in medication while I am pregnant. She said it's completely safe. I told her they said the same thing about thalidomide. As long as the babies were OK, I'd suffer through.

Sept 26: So, I had taken the weekend off and went to the doctor on Monday for a magic note to get out of working. Just touching my belly had me in sobs. She said I shouldn't be in that much pain and that I needed to go back to the hospital. She was going to order an ultrasound this time. She said she'd call the hospital and tell them I was on my way.

I went. My mom and daughter were there with me. The doctor I talked to was a twin, so I felt more at ease with him. I picked his brain about what life with twins was going to be like. Believe it or not, the biggest worry I had on my mind was switching the babies. Should I circumcise one and not the other or get a tattoo on one?

Stupid thing was as soon as I found out I was having twins, I went to the library and got every book I could find. There were a couple paragraphs (more like sentences) about TTTS. They said there are no symptoms, and that prevention is regular checkups. So thank you to those who are writing books and getting the word out. I didn't have the Internet then, or I might have been able to find out more. But I probably would have been passive about it anyway.

So they measured my belly and I grew 8 weeks worth in 1 week. I was now measuring 42 weeks and I was 20w3d. So I was pretty sure I would bust before they came out. They came back with some serious faces. We think we know what's wrong with you. You have TTTS. He explained it. Without the surgery, they would most likely both die. He explained the options and the laser surgery. He said, the bad thing is only a few places in the world offer this surgery. Good news is Toronto is one of them and we have a chopper waiting to take you right now. We just need to do an ultrasound to confirm it. Just before the ultrasound, my husband got there. They let him stay, but after a minute looking at the screen, they kicked out my mom and little girl.

I met the OBGYN that was supposed to take over my case. I had an appointment booked with her for 3 weeks from now. Her face was serious and she was quiet. I was pretty sure this meant that a baby died. She told me to brace myself. I told her one died, didn't he? She said, no, they both did.

Either you know how I felt at that moment or you can imagine how that felt. 4 years later I sit here crying as I type it. So the next day, on Sept 27, 2006 I delivered two amazing little babies. They had little fingernails, little toes, little penises, little eye lids. They were perfect. Except that they were dead. I didn't hold them. I laid beside them. I touched them. I didn't talk to them, I talked about them. But we can't control how we react when such horrible things happen to us. I wish I would have kissed them and held them. I purposely didn't take a camera with me because this isn't a joyous occasion. This is the worst moment of my life. I didn't feel the need to have a permanent reminder. But the hospital took pictures anyway and I'm so so glad they did. I look at them often.

Tyler was 10 1/2 inches long and 420 grams. Jayden was 10 inches and 220 grams. I was 20w4d.

Since then, my OBGYN wrote up the radiologist. She said he should have seen a problem with the results and gotten me immediate attention.

Since then, I've fallen in love with 2 more babies. Beautiful, healthy, alive.

I will never have a son. I will never see what a little version of my husband would be like. I won't get to see what having twins would have been like. I don't get to worry about mixing them up.

And I will never be the same. Some days I throw myself a pity party and think about what life would be like right now. Right now, they would be 4 years old. They likely would be fighting as much as playing with each other. Getting them ready for preschool would have been a challenge. They would have long eyelashes and a bum chin like their daddy. They would have figured out by now that they can fool people by pretending to be each other. They would be inseparable. And I would have loved to have them in my life. I probably would have complained about how hard it was to raise twins, but been so lucky to have done so. I would have watched a magical connection between brothers. Right now, daddy would have them in the garage building stuff.

But I firmly believe that we all have stuff in our lives to deal with. We all have a cross to bear. My life rocks. I have a great family and friends. I live in the best Country. (except during winter) I have 3 beautiful mini Me's. If I had had Jayden and Tyler, I wouldn't have had Nelly and might not have had Alexis.

But still, some days just suck.

Dennel's sweet babies Tyler and Jayden:

Elijah Update...

2011-02-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, it has been a while. Elijah was recently sent for a MRI of his head since he hasn't had one since he was born. The doctor called me today with the results. The good news is that that most everything looks the same as it did with his last MRI. There are some concerns that he may have a some excess fluid, just a small amount though, but something his doctor wants evaluated further. We are now going to be sent to either Duke or Wake Forrest, depending on who can get us in the fastest. I am so worried about this, Elijah has been through so much.

I'm just upset, and yes I'm angry. I'm not angry at God, I am just angry about the way of this world. I am angry that my child has suffered so much, I'm angry that there is such a thing as Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, that I lost two children to it, and that TTTS is the reason Elijah still has problems. I'm angry because my life is so stressful. I get angry when I see people going about their lives with their healthy children and I hear them complain about the silliest things. I don't want to be this way, I understand that I used to be just like those people. Once, not so long ago my biggest worry was whether or not I would get a A in one of my classes, or whether or not my child would be a football star or a genius.

Now before you get mad I am not saying that you or anyone else for that matter doesn't have a right to worry yourselves with things like this. I am saying just be thankful if that is all you have to worry about. Give God the thanks he deserves for all of the blessings you have. In spite of it all I will still Thank God for my blessings, because I do have blessings.

I am thankful, because I know that even though things seem bad, they could always be worse. I know God has a plan for Elijah's life, I know that Elijah is a miracle and that he will be used to glorify God, he is living proof of the fact that YES, God does still perform miracles.

When Elijah was born he was pretty much as close to death as anyone can get. He couldn't breathe on his own, he was brought through life threatening illnesses and surgeries, even when man had given up hope, God brought Elijah through. I will never stop praising God for all he has done for Elijah, and I trust him to bring us through this valley and to the top of the mountain once again!

Elijah several months ago at a birthday party....

My prayer...

2011-02-14T15:04:00.000-08:00

Please bless my children, keep them safe,
give them health and happiness.
Give the other children understanding,
and give them a few true friends.
Give their teachers wisdom,
and let them be kind.
Heal them lord,
but if that is not in your will;
Give me the strength and patience I need,
Let me be their advocate.
Help me to stand up to those who think they know more about my children,
when they really don't have a clue.
Most of all dear Lord,
let them realize how special they are.
Special not because of their disabilities,
but because you created them,
with a purpose.
Let them realize their gifts,
but most of all;
Give them happiness!

Join the Blog Hop Fun!

2011-01-29T12:06:00.001-08:00

Loss and Grief

2011-01-02T16:12:00.000-08:00

I guess it is time for me to talk about grief. I am not a professional, I just know how I feel, though sometimes I don't understand why I am feeling a certain way. I have never been comfortable with grief, I remember being a little girl at my beloved grandfathers funeral and not being able to cry, even though I felt like the world was ending.

When David was born sleeping I didn't cry, I felt numb like this was happening to someone else. The first thing I remember hearing upon waking from my C-section was someone praying, and my husband crying, it was a lady and she had a strong voice,she was performing a dedication ceremony. I remember laying there with my eyes closed and not wanting to wake up. I remember thinking "why is she dedicating him to God,he belongs to God and has always belonged to God." They brought him to me to hold him, I was in pain from my surgery, I was groggy and sick. He was perfectly formed, he had all of his fingers and toes, I could even see the little bow shaped lip that looked so much like his two year old brother. I couldn't cry, I felt like I was in a dream, I didn't cry, it felt unreal. I still had two babies in the NICU so I turned all of my thoughts toward them, then I had a brush with death myself, a Pulmonary Embolism, which landed me in the hospital several times in the following months. We were miles away from home, no family to turn to. Though I did make some friends who became like family to me, but that is another story.

During one of my hospital stays I was called down to the NICU to speak with the boy's doctor. I was told that Lucas had been having problems with his bowels and that a X-Ray showed that he had lost all of his bowel to Necrotizing Endercolitis (NEC), a disease that often strikes in premature infants. The doctor told my husband and myself that this was not compatible with life and that Lucas would have to be removed from life support. I remember asking if they would give him pain medication first, they said yes. They took us to a small private room, they rolled him in. He was already unhooked from the life support but they were bagging him to keep him alive until we could hold him, this seemed sort of cruel to me at the time, but I understand why they did it.
They put this little tiny baby boy in my arms, he looked exactly like the brother he had already lost, exactly like the brother he had that was still fighting for his life, just like my four year old had looked as a baby.

The doctors had told us that they did not know what he could see, if anything. I do know that he looked right into my eyes, right into my soul. I saw that he recognized me, I saw so much in my dying babies eyes, I swear it was like looking straight into heaven. He didn't die right away, he was born fighting, he didn't know how to do anything else. I held him in my arms, I could feel him leave us at the moment of his death, I could see the life leave his eyes. I felt the presence of God in the room, I knew that my baby was not alone, but that he was being carried home, to be with God, to be with his brother, and to wait on us to join him there.

After he left us we went back to his little bedside for the last time, we helped the nurse bathe him, it was his first and last bath. Through all this I didn't cry, I went up to my hospital bed, I was given strong sedatives, I slept. By the time I got well enough to stay out of the hospital I had cried over my boy's. I was still trying to be strong for my baby who was living. I spent the next four months with Elijah in the NICU, watching him fight for his life, afraid to get to close, afraid he would leave me too.

Now, almost three years later we are home. Elijah is a true miracle, though he has his battles, he has been facing them with all of the strength and fight he showed us in the NICU.

Grief is there, it hits me in different ways. Sometimes I feel fine and then I see a set of twins, or someone tells me something that sends me reeling. I have learned that many people do not understand grief, they don't understand how I can grieve a child I never "bonded" with. I just read a great article on grief, it talked about how when someone loses their parent they lose the past, but when they lose a child they lose the future. That is so true....please read this article on grief and try to understand....

Merry Christmas...

2010-12-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

I had Christmas pictures made of both of my "little" boy's, their big brother decided he wasn't doing pictures this year. Elijah did well for maybe three takes, then he was finished! I still think they turned out well!

Wonderful News- update on Elijah

2010-12-03T05:17:00.001-08:00

My little vampire at Halloween!

Wow. It is past time that I post in here. A lot has been going on, Elijah was seen at the University of Virginia Children's Hospital, Kluge Rehabilitation Center. He was seen in the CP clinic where I have to say we have received some wonderful news. A year ago a developmental specialist diagnosed Elijah with Cerebral Palsy, level 4. The spectrum ranges from 1-5 with five being the most severe and anything above a 3 meaning that the child will likely be wheelchair dependant.

After the specialist at UVA examined Elijah he said that he did not agree with the level 4 diagnosis, he changed it to a 2! He says this means that Elijah will walk independently! No wheelchair for my boy, unless he just gets tired at a amusement park or something and wants to ride on a scooter :) He will have a limp, and may tire easily, he will never be a football star or run track. But, I know that God has something great planned for Elijah. He constantly surprised the doctors and the hand of God is evident in his life!

Cerebral Palsy

2010-11-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

Elijah is now the owner and wearer of AFO's (ankle foot orthotics) I hope these will help him walk independently. As most of you know he had been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. It is hard to say what caused his CP. I do know that TTTS survivors are at high risk for neurological conditions such as Cerebral Palsy, I have seen statistics that say half of all TTTS survivors are diagnosed with CP. Elijah was also extremely premature, this is a risk factor for Cerebral Palsy, and even though Elijah's brain scans in the NICU were normal,this does not indicate that a brain injury didn't occur. "Nearly one half of all preemies who develop cerebral palsy have normal NICU ultrasounds"

Some early warning signs of CP (for all babies, multiples, preemies, and babies that are full term) are:

Problems sucking and swallowing.
A weak or shrill cry.
Unusual positions. Often the body is either very relaxed and floppy or very stiff. When held, babies may arch their backs and extend their arms and legs. These postures are different from and more extreme than those that sometimes occur in babies with colic.
Seizures.

One thing I noticed when Elijah was a infant was that it was often difficult to change his diaper. His legs were stiff making diaper changes hard.

Pictures of Elijahs little AFO's will be posted soon :)

Monday Mayhem

2010-10-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Monday Mayhem- the happenin' Monday Place to be.Today's we are playing a modification of a tag- the 8's tag. By 'modifications' we mean we edited out some of the questions we never want to see again.Have fun!

1. Are you living the dream??
Maybe a twisted version of it!

2.Is this what you imagined your life would be like?
Honestly, No. But, whose life turns out exactly like they imagined. If I were living the life that I imagined as a young girl then I would have prince charming, a million dollars, and a maid!

3. I'm coming for dinner, what will you make for me??
I hope you like chicken nuggets!

4. What's your favorite cuss word? I don't have a favorite cuss word!
A. does though, thanks to someone near and dear to me who I won't mention, his favorite cuss word starts wit a D and ends with a N!

5. Tell me one thing you would change about anyone's blog and why?
I really don't know of anything I would change, a blog is like a journal, so whatever!

6.What is your biggest blogging pet peeve?
People who don't comment and don't follow...come on I'll follow you if you follow me!

7.What's your favorite tv show this season? I need a new show! :)
This is crazy, I am 34 years old and I am really hooked on that show, Teen Mom!

8. What's your favorite 'down' time {nothing computer related}? Downtime, what is that....I gues when I get it, it is reading, I love a good book!

2010-10-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I updated on Elijah. Elijah is doing good. He has been officially diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. He has also been fitted for AFO's (Ankle Foot Orthotics) and he has been referred to a CP clinic at UVA. I am hoping these will help him walk on his own. Elijah is such an amazing little boy, God has brought him so far. I am certain that he will continue to amaze us!

I will update you when I know more about the clinic he will be attending!

A little update...

2010-09-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

NOW...

AND THEN!

Elijah is doing great. He is learning a lot of words, but he has a hard time getting them out. He is so sweet and funny, he loves to eat. The other day we pulled up at a local drive through(I know, I know, I should know better). The girl came on and said, Hello, welcome to ______would you like to try a smoothie? Elijah piped up in the back and said "YEAH"! He don't even know what a smoothie is, but he knows that food comes out of those windows.

I hope we are able to get braces for Elijah's feet and legs in the near future, I so want my little boy to walk and run! I know that God has left him with us for a great reason, I have faith in that!

2010-09-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the blog award!

Tracy from Life of this SAHM

Michelle from Men Are That They Might Have Joy

The Rules:
1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.
2. Pay it forward to 15 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.
3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.I pass the award along to the following:

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-22T06:31:00.001-07:00

See more pics or link up....

Wave of Light

2010-09-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

In memory of David 4/12/08-4/12/08 and Lucas 4/12/08-5/6/08

From my Myspace blog:

Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Very sad....

I just wanted to let everyone know that our little Lucas went to heaven earlier this evening. While he passed he was in the arms of myself and his daddy. I know he was suffering greatly and that he is now in the arms of the Lord. As he passed there was such a peace in the room and I could feel the presence of God all around me. I know he went from our arms to Gods arms. I believe God took him home because he already had suffered so much and he fought such a brave fight. He had a severe brain bleed from birth, had he lived he may have been severely handicapped maybe blind and/or deaf. God took him home where he will be a happy healthy child and I know I will see him again, along with his brother David. I want to thank the Lord for giving us our Lucas for almost a month, I know it was in God's will that he go back to be with him. Thank you all for your prayers, continue to pray for Elijah, he continues to improve but it is such a long road. Once again Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts, I will continue to update on Elijah on here.
Love,
Denise

Lucas

David

Weekend Blog Hop

2010-09-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

Blog facelift

2010-09-18T08:50:00.001-07:00

My blog has received a much needed face lift! Thanks to my sister from Life of a SAHM!

Pay her a visit and tell her how great it looks. I will be updating on Elijah very soon! Lot's to tell you!

2010-09-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hi welcome to my blog, please comment and follow me, I'll follow back!

Weekend Wind Down Blog Hop- Fav Holiday

2010-09-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

This week's question:With Labor Day weekend just passing, what is your favorite holiday and why?

My favorite holiday is Christmas! I know that is probably what everyone says but I love Christmas. Time with the family, the lights and decorations, the joy on my children's faces. I am excited because this year Elijah is old enough to understand more about what is going on!

And last but definitely not least Christmas is the celebration of my Saviour, Jesus Christ!

Time for school..

2010-08-15T18:29:00.001-07:00

Wow, it has been a while. I'll try to do better, I promise! Elijah is doing very well. He can say several words now. He is trying to walk but we may have to get some braces for his feet. Elijah will be starting school soon. He is going to be in a program through our local school system. I am so excited! I know the program and the teacher, she is great and it is a great program for kids with developmental delays! Be looking for some back to school pictures soon! Right now I'll leave you with some more of our vacation photo's!

Hanging with big brother!

Papaw's Boy!

We had a good summer it is hard to believe that it is almost over!

Elijah update

2010-07-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

Elijah now attends a "summer enrichment program" along with his big brother. He seems to love it. I am so proud of my baby boy, he is taking off with language. I always knew he could understand us, and now he can show us just how much he understands. He says "Bus" when he wants to go to school, he says "eat" and "more" and "all done", he says "puppy". When I ask him who I am he says "mumma", when you ask him who he is he says "EiJah". He also says, up and book, and "get down". I am just so excited that he has finally started talking, I was beginning to wonder if he ever would. God is truly great!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

Blog Hop

2010-04-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am participating in a Blog Hop with the Riggs Family Blog, click on the link and join in!

Sorry

2010-04-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. Elijah's eye surgery went well, we actually go for our 6 week follow up tomorrow. I am praying we don't have to have another surgery. Elijah is coming along great, he still doesn't walk, but he is cruising around like crazy. He doesn't say much, he says "Mama", "Dada", "Bubba" (that's his big brother), "Alex", "ba ba"(bottle), "up", "Nana" and "Papa". Elijah is very smart. I have been testing him to see if he actually understands what I say. I will put a few items in front of him, these are items that he is familiar with. I will ask him to get a certain item and bring it to mommy, and he does. This shows me that Elijah understands and that he can learn. I am thrilled with this, since you never know with brain injuries, especially when he can't express himself or tell us what he needs in words, this makes for a lot of tantrums!

I promise to try and do a better job keeping everyone posted!

Denise

More surgery

2010-01-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

Elijah went back to his eye doctor and he is going to have muscle surgery on his left eye. I really hate for him to be put under anesthethia again but the doctor says the sooner we do this the better. I know God will bring him through this. This will be Elijah's 5th surgery, he has had 2 bowell surgeries, a multiple hernia repair and this will be his second eye surgery.

Vote for this cause....

2010-01-17T17:12:00.000-08:00

Gwendolyn Strong Foundation

Chase Community Giving from Bill Strong on Vimeo.

Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself I am always reminded how blessed I am and that there are people out there going through worse things. God bless these children. Please vote for this cause, this disease is heartbreaking! You will have to scroll down and cut the sound off on my playlist to hear this video....

Elijah update...

2010-01-17T16:56:00.000-08:00

Elijah (held by his "Bubba") in his Spider costume at Halloween, he wasn't crazy about it.

Elijah is doing great. He is coming right along with all of his therapies and is even starting to tolerate textured foods now. He is cruising around in the playpen, and in a walker. He babbles alot but isn't really talking alot yet. He will say mama, dada, nana, bubba (that is his big brother), and he tries to say Alex, that comes out as "aaaaaaaaaaaluh"! He can use sign language for "more" and "mommy". He is extremely bright but is somewhat locked in due to his motor delays.
Elijah weighs 24 lbs now, and is quite a little butterball! He is such a blessing, and I am blessed that God chose me to be his mommy!

Elijah should qualify for early preschool services through the school system when he turns two, it will be so good for him to be around other children and receive his therapy at school, I think that school will help with his language skills.

I guess that is all for now I'll write more as soon as I can! :)

Why do bad things happen?

2010-01-04T15:04:00.000-08:00

I found this scripture on another blog and had to post it here. It really bothers me when people say that when bad things happen to people it is because they "aren't right" with God. Like nothing bad has ever happened to them? I am so glad I came across this, I needed to see it!

John 9:1 says,As he [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth.
2- His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
3- "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

God Brought Elijah from here....

To here!

The work of God has been displayed in Elijah's life many times and continues to be displayed in his life!

Another Miracle!!

2009-11-16T18:53:00.001-08:00

Back in October Elijah's Developmental Specialist said that Elijah would require braces to stand, and would probably require them to walk and would need a wheelchair....

I guess....

God has other plans!

Because not quite a month after that diagnosis Elijah pulled to stand on his own, now he is working on cruising! Without braces!!

I give all the glory to God!

After Elijah's diagnosis my mother felt led to be anointed and prayed for, to stand in for Elijah. God is still working in Elijah's life. I honestly believe that Elijah will walk without assistance, if God wills it!

Elijah's diagnosis...

2009-10-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been a long time. So much has happened. My boy's and I have moved in to a new place. Nursing school is going great. I am so busy. Elijah was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy a few weeks ago. Though it is a expected diagnosis, it is still hard to come to terms with. My 3 year old is also seeing a developmental specialist for possible Aspergers. Through all the testing I have found out one thing that I was all ready pretty sure about anyway. My 3 year old is brilliant! He scored through the roof on his IQ test and is academically ready for Kindergarten, but wont be going of course due to maturity. Most of his problems are with fine motor skills and sensory issues. I have a feeling we are in for a wild ride, and doing it by myself is going to be hard, I won't lie, money is a big issue. I am hoping to be able to afford Christmas for my kids this year.

Please keep me and my boy's in your prayers, and I will try to keep you updated. I don't have Internet at my home, so I have to go to the library or my parents house!

I don't have any pics to post right now but will do so soon. Elijah is crawling, though his left side is weak and causes some problems, and he is finally sitting up, at 18 months.

I know God has brought him this far and I know he has BIG plans for Elijah! :)

School Days

2009-08-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

Today my sweet little boy

Had his first day of school, Headstart that is!

My Big Boy finished up his first week of HIGH SCHOOL!

And I finished up my first week of Nursing School, lol!

Surgery Update

2009-08-15T14:08:00.001-07:00

Just a quick update, Elijah's surgery went well. I was able to go in with him and hold him until they put him to sleep. That was sort of scary for me but I thought it might make it easier on him. Now we just wait and see if the Botox does what it is supposed to and straightens his eyes out, otherwise we may face the more intense surgery where they actually cut into the muscles.

Elijah is recovering well, he is pretty much back to himself!

Thank You to everyone who prayed for Elijah!

Eye Surgery

2009-08-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

Elijah will have surgery tomorrow morning at 7:15 a.m. Actually he is having Botox injections in his eyes to see if this will help correct his crossed eyes. But, it has to be done in the hospital under anesthesia. That is the scary part. Please keep him in your prayers. I'll update as soon as we get back. We have to travel for this surgery. Thank you for your prayers! :)

Denise

Pray for me... Pray for Others and Elijah's surgery

2009-08-12T14:55:00.000-07:00

We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.

Please pray for Elijah, he will be going into the hospital Friday morning for eye surgery. Please keep us in your prayers, we will be traveling Thursday evening, he has to be at the hospital at 5:15 a.m. on Friday morning. Thank You!

Blog Hop- Favorite Pictures

2009-08-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Click here to enter your link in the blog hop and view the entire list of entered links...

Tiny Feet, Elijah's feet during his first month of life.

Caution ~~Man~~ GOD at Work!

Multiple Personality Disorder???

Nah, TTMS, Typical Toddler Mood Swings!

In the Valley

2009-08-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a day. Today has been one of those days that I just wish I could have stayed in bed. I am definately in a valley right now. But, that is okay, because I know that the same God who is high on the mountain is still with me in the valley. You know, I was thinking, the times I have felt God closest to me is during hard times in my life. Sometimes I see people who seem to never go through anything, and I wonder, why them, they must be so much closer to God, they are really blessed. But then again, if we are always up on the mountain, and we never "need" God, it seems possible that we would not be as close to him, that we would not learn how to trust him.

I probably shouldn't post this here, and I won't name any names or organizations, but recently I had to change church's. A particular leader in my old church is standing up and saying in front of the whole church that "many people have left the church and regret it now, because they are having things come against them, such as sickness, and job loss". I don't know who reads my blog, but I don't want to have to be afraid that if I mention something less then perfect going on in my life, then someone will use it to prove I am out of God's will because I chose not to stay at a certain church. I believe these things are hurtful to a lot of people. Jesus commanded us to LOVE one another, not constantly judge what someone else is doing.

1 Corinthians 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not
charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all
mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so
that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am
nothing.
13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I
give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me
nothing.

I have a hard time understanding why something that should be so easy for Christians to do is just so hard, and that is simply to love one another.

Let me say this, if that person or anyone who has heard this being said is reading my blog, I just want to point out, the worst trial in my life (the loss of my children) happened to me while I attending church there. While I was attending church there I was very ill and close to death.

I'm in no way blaming the church, the point I am trying to make is that bad things happen all the time. Bad things are happening right now to people who are sitting right there in church with you. I know that God is with me now, just as he was with me in Tampa, when I lost two babies. I trust in God and in his son Jesus Christ, I know I have a comforter, The Holy Ghost. He is with me always, no matter what church I attend. I know everything that happens is God's will , and I also know that things will get better, not in my time or your time, but in God's time. I know God will bless me and my children, how do I know this, it has been promised to me, I am a child of God, I know this, I may not be perfect, but I know one who is, and I know he loves and forgives me.

John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man cometh
unto the Father, but by me.
John 14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father
may be glorified in the Son
14:14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it
14:15 If ye love me , keep my commandment
14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that
he may abide with you forever

Elijah's been home for a year!

2009-08-05T14:27:00.001-07:00

It is hard to believe that is was one year ago tommorrow that we brought Elijah home. So much has changed in a year. Elijah came home at four months old weighing 7lbs. Now at almost 16 months he weighs 2olbs. So much has changed for us in a year. I feel like me and my children are starting a new and hopefully better chapter in our lives. Please keep us in your prayers, as there are a lot of changes coming in the near future!

Elijah when we brought him home, one year ago!

Elijah now! :)

Blog Hop- Encouragement

2009-07-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

Elijah

born at 24 weeks 0 days a Twin to Twin Transfusion survivor

he weighed 1lb 8oz , he required major surgery during his first week,

The doctors gave us no hope:

So we prayed.........

And he lived!

"O give thanks to the Lord call on his name

and make known

His doings among the peoples!

1 Chronicles 16:8

I hope Elijah's story will give hope to those who are traveling through life's valleys. Through my experience I learned to trust in God 100%, I now have peace in knowing that God is in control of all things, and joy in knowing that God does answer prayers, and that he is always with us, no matter how much it rains, and that through tragedy God can bring a blessing, though it may be hard to see at the time. I know Elijah's life will always be a testimony to Glorify God!

a href="http://www.mcklinky.com/blog_hop.asp" target="_blank">MckLinky Blog Hop" src="http://www.mcklinky.com/images/MckLinkyBlogHop.jpg" width=300 border=0 longDesc=http://www.brentriggs.com>

Finally a UPDATE!!

2009-07-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

Like it tends to do, life goes on...

Elijah is doing well. Both boys have bad colds, hopefully it's not the flu. I am debating if I should take them to the doctor today. If it is the flu I want to catch it in time for medication, if not I have probably exposed them to the flu by taking them to the doctor. It is hard to know what to do, when my oldest son had the flu last winter I didn't take him to the doctor in time for antivirals and he had a really hard time.

On a lighter note, Elijah's therapy(s) are going great. He is babbling away now and he is pushing up on hands and knees and trying very hard to crawl. He commando crawls all over the place. He is almost sitting up on his own. He weighs 19 lbs now, he has come a long way from 1lb 8oz! So far the only lasting effects of his extreme prematurity are the developmental delays. His cognitive skills seem good. He can find his foot now on command, he is a very smart baby! He shows no signs of the dreaded (at least dreaded by me) CP as of yet! The doctor did hear a murmur at his last checkup, but I refuse to worry about it, God has healed Elijah's heart once and HE is in ultimate control!

I thank God every day for the miracles he has worked in Elijah's life.

Our three year old little man is doing well. He is now in therapy for very slight Gross Motor Delays. He will be getting evaluated in the future to see what may be going on to cause his sensory issues. His therapist also seems to think he may be color blind. He is extremely smart, and learns easily,but can't seem to get his colors. Somehow the possibility of colorblindness upsets me more than the thought of him being diagnosed with Aspergers. I'm not sure why this is. I just look at all the colors that surround us, and it makes me want to cry to think he may not be able to see some of them, and may never be able to. I just keep remembering, God is in control!

Little man waters the flowers he just planted!

Brothers and best buddies!

This is just to cute!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

Blog Hop

2009-07-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my favorite kid photo's for the blog hop, enjoy!

A Picture of Baby Lucas

2009-07-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture I found of Lucas. This picture is one of the only pictures we have of him without all of the tubes, it was taken by a nurse the night Lucas went to Heaven. You can see he and Elijah were identical.

In this picture Lucas was not quite a month old and still weighed less than 1lb 8oz. What a tiny beautiful boy!

sounds like life to me....

2009-07-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

Hello all. I have been so busy. Elijah is getting a lot of therapy now. He gets speech twice a week, PT once a week, and OT once a week. I am seeing improvement but he still has a long road ahead. On top of everthing Big Brother A. is going to be evaluated for Gross Motor Delays. I guess so much has been going on with Elijah that I missed out on some important things! I feel so guilty. Also, A. is so VERY smart and verbal that I think I sort of concentrated on that! So now I will probably add extra therapy to my schedule! He is three, so the school system will be responsible for most of his therapy, so he will probably be able to get it while he is in preschool. That will help!

That is one of the reasons I decided to enroll him in preschool. So far he is doing good, but he hates naptime! That isn't surprising!

I have taken lots of new pictures, just got to get them uploaded! Bear with me!

Pray for me... Pray for Others

2009-07-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

2009-07-01T06:57:00.001-07:00

Wow, it has been a long time. My life has been so busy, and crazy. Elijah is doing quite well. He is still being stubborn about sitting up though! He is getting intense therapy, physical therapy twice a week (one time in the home), occupational therapy once a week, and speech therapy twice a week. Wow! That is like four times a week outside the home. Throw in biweekly visits to Cranial Technology (3 hours from home) and occasional visits to his many doctors in Roanoke (2 hours away), and now wonder I feel so tired, no wonder my three year old is so grumpy.

Would I be a horrible mommy if I put my three year old in a good daycare program for the rest of July? He would probably thank me, poor little guy!

I know I need to put some more pictures up, but I haven't even taken any recent ones, so I'll throw some old pics up and I promise I'll take some new ones soon!

Stay tuned to this blog, I have a feeling things are going to get crazier, and therefore a lot more interesting! Nothing I want to post about now though, I'm sort of waiting to see how things turn out!

Here are those pictures:

Me and Elijah in the NICU last summer.

Me and Elijah at home a few months ago.

Little man looking all serious, he actually looks this way a lot!

Me and little man, poor baby looks tired in this photo!

SCARY stuff.....

2009-06-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

Well this week has started with a bang. I was on my way to pick my oldest up from school, my two little ones were in their carseats in the back. My toddler started crying, this isn't to unusual for him, he hates being in the car. When I got to my oldest son's school the crying had turned into screaming and he was beating himself in the face. I took him out of his carseat and noticed his right eye was swollen shut. He face began to swell, by this time we were well on our way to the ER. The wheezing began and he sort of went out on us and his big brother had to keep telling me that he was still breathing.

It seems like he had a severe allergic reaction to something. He does have a peanut allergy but I don't think he came into contact with peanuts, but you never can tell. He is doing okay today after loads of medication and a shot yesterday. The steroids make him grumpy, and MEAN!

Keep us in your prayers. We have to travel more this week for Elijah's DOC band appointment, it is a loooooong drive!

I may be renting a little house for me and the boy's, money will be very tight but I am used to that, I just worry about my travel expenses, more on all of that later....

Update on Elijah's medical stuff and BIG changes....

2009-05-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

Well we have been traveling like crazy for the past two weeks. Elijah saw the Developmental specialist, pulmonologist, and cranial tech last week. This week we did the eye doctor. All of these appointments require travel, so I am tired, and broke. I actually spent almost $100 in gas in just three days last week!! My husband and I recently separated so now I am sort of doing this on my own. It is extremely hard! We have had to leave our home and are currently staying with relatives, I am so wanting to rent a small house that has come available! I want my children to have a nice home, I want things to be normal for them!

Back to Elijah, the developmental specialist said that Elijah is showing development appropriate for a 5-7 month old child in most areas. I didn't like to hear this since Elijah's corrected age is 9 months. It was also confirmed that Elijah has "low tone" mainly in the upper part of his body, this is why he can't sit up yet and why he hates to be put in his Bumbo. This low tone is caused by a brain injury he suffered either before birth due to the TTTS surgery or during or shortly after birth. No one has said Cerebral Palsy yet, but I'm waiting for that shoe to drop. Elijah's Pulmonology appointment went well, as did cranial tech. Elijah's eye doctor wants to do Botox Injections for his eye to see if that may help the crossing over time, otherwise it will require surgery because it can't be corrected with glasses.

Some days I feel so hopeful for Elijah and for my family's situation and others, like today, I feel like I could just plunge into the depths of despair, but I dare not, because there are so many little people depending on me.

Please keep me and my children in your prayers for our situation, medical and financial. My 3 year old is having such a hard time dealing with everything and is showing some anger, which I am sure is normal.

I know I have to keep my eyes on Jesus, not looking to the right or left, there are many days I feel so alone and like he is the only one who cares about me, my children, and our situation. Sometimes I just feel so lost in this world of staying at home, medical appointments, therapies, and now dealing with the sadness and loneliness of a broken marriage.
Please keep us in your prayers....

Birthday's and Well Visit's

2009-05-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

Both of my oldest celebrated birthdays this month! They turned 14 and 3!

Big brother A. playing on his bike.

Baby brother in his new DOC band, enjoying his Baby Einstein Jumper.

Elijah and brother both had well visits last week. Over all Elijah got a good report. He now weighs 16 lbs 9 oz, that is a long way from 1lb 8oz a little over a year ago. His weight gain has slowed somewhat, so the doctor is wanting me to really push the calories. I should have no problem with that, thankfully there are no feeding problems and Elijah loves to eat. Elijah still seems to have an allergy to milk though, and that is to bad, considering the doctor wants him to drink milk with instant breakfast instead of formula. The doctor is also wanting Elijah to get more intense therapy so I am waiting on a call about referrals to speech, occupational, and physical therapy. Right now he is just getting one day a week at home.

Brother's check up went really well, he is healthy and developing good. Unlike baby brother though, big brother has to start eating better, he is a little in the chubby department. I think he is adorable, but I do want him to be healthy. All of this traveling and eating out has took a toll on all of us over the past year, I am getting ready to start a diet myself!

This will be a very busy week for us, and probably not a good week to start a diet. I have to take Elijah to three appointments this week, two of them will require an overnight stay and the other a 6 hour round trip. Yes, it is back to Cranial Tech again this week so Elijah's DOC band can be checked and adjusted.

Pictures of Elijah's DOC band

2009-05-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

After I painted and decorated.......

DOC band

2009-05-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. There has been so much going on in my life, I may post more about that later. Elijah got his DOC band Thursday and is doing well with it. Every once in a while he will realize it is up there and try to pull at it. It really doesn't seem to bother him at all though. I am going to upload some pictures today so I will post them later.

I have such a busy week next week. Elijah has a appointment with his Pulmonologist on Tuesday and then with Developmental on Wed. Both of those appointments are in the same town, so that will require an overnight stay. Then I will be coming home on Wed. evening and leaving for Charlotte again on Thursday. Busy, Busy, Busy. I hate to complain but financially this is hard, and I hope my old van can make it, it has to last me for a few years, realistically I don't think it will. Unless they have been there I don't think anyone can understand that the financial hardships of having a premature infant REALLY begin once the baby comes home from the hospital and lasts for months, even years, depending on the child's condition.

Well I have to run now, lots to do, pictures coming soon though!

Pray for me... Pray for Others

2009-05-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-10T14:25:00.001-07:00

I want to wish all mothers a very Happy Mothers Day! Last year at this time I was in Florida, unsure if Elijah would live to celebrate another Mothers Day with his mommy, and I was coming to terms with the fact that I would never spend mothers day with Lucas and David on this earth. I am so blessed this year to be home with my three boy's and to know that I have two precious angels waiting on me in heaven.

God Bless You and have a great day, be thankful for your children and never take a moment with them for granted.

We also celebrated my two older boy's birthdays today! Pictures coming soon! :)

Just a quick post...

2009-05-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at some blogs and reflecting. I have to admit, I have been feeling sorry for myself lately. Yes, it is horrible that I have lost two of my children, it is hard to have a sick child, it is a pain to do all the traveling we have to do on limited finances....

But, as I read some of the blogs I have been following I realized something that I have known all along, it could be worse. Elijah could have feeding problems, he could have cerebral palsy, be blind, deaf, you get the point. My other boy's are healthy and happy, there are so many children suffering out there right now. Right now my children are safe and warm in their beds. They are not in the hospital, they are not hungry, they are not homeless, they are not lost.

I think of all the missing children out there, I don't know why this happens. I keep thinking of my little boy, how I would feel if he was out there and I didn't know where. How horrible would it be, not knowing what is happening to your child, not knowing if he is scared, if anyone is comforting him.

This world we live in is so evil, I believe Jesus will come soon. I think the only reason he hasn't came back yet is because he wants to give everyone one more chance, one last chance to accept him and accept everlasting life!

I have saw remarks made as I surfed the internet the past couple of days, I beleive they were made by the same person, I don't remember how it was phrased exactly but it was something to the extent of :
"It bothers me when people attribute something good(like surviving a car crash) to God, who do they think caused the crash to begin with"

I don't know who is writing this and I am sure a lot of people feel this way, God have mercy on them is all I can say. If I could talk to them I would tell them this: "yes bad things happen in this world and for reasons we don't know God allows them to happen, and we know there is great evil in this world, but I don't know how anyone makes it through the bad times without the love and grace of God and Jesus Christ. When I was stuck in Florida for four months, watching two babies die and one suffer and fight for his life, God was my strength and he comforted me like no one else could".

As for the obvious non-belief in Gods ability to perform miracles, I truly believe that often God intervenes, there is a reason for everything that happens, I have seen God move in Elijah's life and make things happen that seemed impossible. Elijah's medical records show multiple diagnosis of cardiomyopathy, but during his last Cardiology appointment when that doctor said "I don't know what the other doctors have been seeing, but he has perfect heart function", I knew that God had answered many prayers and healed my child. You can read about his healing in this post: Elijahs heart

I know I couldn't bear to exist in this world without Gods comforting spirit and his love. I know when I pray that every prayer is heard. Most of all I know that the only son of God suffered and died for me and for everyone else, even for the person who wrote that.

Wow, I meant for this to be a short post! What I mainly wanted to say is that I need to quit complaining!

"God forgive me for complaining, I am truly thankful for all you have done for Elijah and for my healthy boy's, I ask for your continued protection on my children, I ask for your touch for the children whose blogs I follow and that you bless and protect all chidren tonight, those who are sick, alone, afraid, be with them Lord and comfort them, give them peace and hope" In Jesus' name: AMEN

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. (Lamentations 3:21-25)

Good Night and God Bless! :O)

Hi/Lo Thursday

2009-05-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.

My Highs:

The sun keeps peeping out today, Elijah is still doing great, my salvation and knowing that I will see Lucas and David again! Elijah gets his DOC band next week to help correct his plageocephaly. God is great!

My Lows:

All this rain is getting me down and yesterday was sort of a sad day, it marked one year since Lucas left us.

The trips every other week to NC is going to be difficult, not sure how we will manage financially, not to mention we have to also travel for development and pulmonology this month which will be a overnight stay.

I am thankful my husband is working, but with me being unable to work right now and with my husbands huge pay cut we are struggling to make ends meet.

A sad anniversary...

2009-05-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of out little Lucas going to heaven. Just like with the anniversary of Davids death back in April this is a bittersweet day for us. I am sad that we are missing so much with Lucas, his first birthday, his smile, and that his brothers will never know him on earth. But, I rejoice, Lucas is celebrating one year in heaven today. One year with our Saviour. I often wonder if babies grow in heaven. If I go to heaven when I am a old lady will I have grown children waiting on me, or will I have sweet babies? Only God can know this but I like to think I have babies waiting on me, not only the two boy's I lost last year but the ones I lost even before we had the chance to know if they were little boy's or girl's. My personal belief is that they will be babies, simply because of the wonderful dream, I dream I believe was sent to me by God, a dream that gives me great hope, no matter what happens to me in this world. If you didn't read my blog about My dream please do! During my pregnancy with the triplets and the early NICU days I did a MySpace blog. I plan on somehow linking that to this, so you can read the story from the beginning. Right now I am going to copy the post that I wrote a year ago today, I wrote this from my hospital bed, as I was in the hospital again from the blood clots in my lungs:

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:55 pm
Very sad....
I just wanted to let everyone know that our little Lucas went to heaven earlier this evening. While he passed he was in the arms of myself and his daddy. I know he was suffering greatly and that he is now in the arms of the Lord. As he passed there was such a peace in the room and I could feel the presence of God all around me. I know he went from our arms to Gods arms. I believe God took him home because he already had suffered so much and he fought such a brave fight. He had a severe brain bleed from birth, had he lived he may have been severely handicapped maybe blind and/or deaf. God took him home where he will be a happy healthy child and I know I will see him again, along with his brother David. I want to thank the Lord for giving us our Lucas for almost a month, I know it was in God's will that he go back to be with him. Thank you all for your prayers, continue to pray for Elijah, he continues to improve but it is such a long road. Once again Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts, I will continue to update on Elijah on here.
Love,
Denise

I have spent today with my little guy's. We had a great morning. I was finally able to take my toddler to the library for story hour. He had so much fun. This is something I have been wanting to do all winter, but couldn't risk taking Elijah out around a group of children, he would have most likely caught RSV from one of the little tykes!

Elijah all smiles at the library!

Enjoying a craft, and puzzles!

story time

Yes today is a sad day, but I am blessed to have my three boy's here with me, and my many children in heaven. Most of all I'm blessed because I know my Redeemer, and I know that because of him I will spend eternity with my children!

Laughter Lives Tuesday

2009-05-05T16:16:00.000-07:00

This post is part of "Laughter Lives! Tuesday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check our their blog to read everyone elses"Laughter Lives!" posts.

My Laughter Lives:

I can't believe I am posting this, I can't believe my son did this, but it is funny.

My toddler is now wearing his "big boy" underpants now. This morning after he woke up he yelled at me to take him to the "potty". I have a gate in the door of his room so he won't wander the house at night and fall down the stairs. I said "mommy will be right there, hold it for just a minute". Well I got sidetracked with the baby, I rushed to his room, sure that he had all ready had an accident. I was surprised that he was still dry. "Good Boy"! I said. "Now lets go to the potty". He says, "It's okay mommy, I all ready pee pee in my truck". Sure enough he had "went potty" in the back of his toy dump truck. I hope this hasn't started a new trend!

Another funny story, my toddler is just plain funny!

My 13 year old was being real whiny on Sunday afternoon because he didn't want to go back to church. My toddler walks up to him in this midst of all of this whining, places his little hand on my older sons head, and begins to pray for a healing loudly and with feeling, ending his prayer "in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen". My older son was so surprised that all whining immediately ceased! God does answer our prayers! :O)

Me and my funny guy!

Please comment! :O)

2009-05-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, it is so exciting to see all of the states and even countries represented that are starting to visit my blog. If you have time I would love for you to leave a short comment, especially if I may know you, so I can put people with places, and even if I don't know you, I love to make new friends. Also take a few short moments to become a follower of my Blog, just click on the follow me button in the sidebar and then check back often for updates.

Not Me Monday..,.

2009-05-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Well this is the first time I have tried this so here we go....

I didn't just turn on "Go Diego Go" and give my almost three year old son some fruit snacks because he was driving me CRAZY, not me, I would never do something like that!

I didn't get off the wrong exit while taking Elijah to a city we we have been to every month since August for medical appointments, I didn't decide against getting back on the interstate and travel several city blocks to find the road I needed to be on, I wasn't 2o minutes late for the appointment, I didn't tell the secretary that I got lost because I had no idea where I was going, nope Not Me!

I didn't also get us lost in Charlotte, AGAIN, by making the same mistake the last time we went there, Not Me!

I didn't blame my husband for the above mistake in Charlotte even though I was driving, no not me, I would never ever do something like that!

I didn't spend money on acai energy boost yesterday to try and get some energy and lose some weight.

I'm not starving right now, no not me!

I didn't just put a pizza in the oven either!

I didn't for some strange reason go around the house the other night and take pictures of everyone sleeping because I was bored, and them post them on my blog, nope not me!

I never let Elijah sleep in his bouncy seat...

I would never let my toddler go to sleep with a sippycup, not me, I wouldn't do that!

I didn't let my husband fall asleep on the couch and take his picture, not me....

I didn't leave him there either, no I'd never do that! Not me! :O)

I definitely would not post above mentioned picture on my blog knowing my husband will kill me! Not Me! :)

DOC band coming soon....

2009-05-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

A picture of a DOC band cranialtech.com

We had our appointment with Cranial Tech on Thursday. What was supposed to be a quick appointment to have digital imaging done turned into half a day. Elijah had a problem with the stocking they had to put over his head to get the pictures done. He had an even bigger problem when they had to hold his arms by his sides. That is one thing he doesn't tolerate. So, he wiggled and he screamed for what seemed like forever. He was very upset. The therapist said that she had never seen a NICU baby who would tolerate being held down. So what ended up happening was this, they had to do it the old fashioned way. They made a cast of his head, guess what, you guessed it, he didn't like it! It was a exhausting day, we got back home at 11pm. Of course we didn't get out of the office until 5pm. Then we were in Charlotte rush hour traffic. It took us an hour to get 10 miles, very frustrating when you are looking at a three hour ride home!

Elijah will be getting his DOC band on our next trip to Charlotte, week after next. Then we will make a trip every other week. Sprinkle in a few trips to Roanoke and that is going to be A LOT of traveling. We have two appointments scheduled in Roanoke this month, with a stay at the RMH likely.

With my husbands BIG paycut(more than half of what he used to make), it is going to be really hard, almost impossible. I have come up with the idea of having a yard sale to try and raise some extra money for travel! I know God will make a way, he always does! :O)

As soon as Elijah gets his band I'll take some pictures and post them, I have a feeling, he's not going to like it!

Do the 10/10/10 for me!

2009-05-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Family & Friends:

This economy is tough and we all need to watch EVERY dollar. We understand. That’s why I’m asking you to please consider helping the March of Dimes by giving just 10/10/10:

10 minutes – Go online to http://marchforbabies.org/teams/649300 and register as either a walker with my Family Team or as a supporter of my team.
$10 – Donate just $10 when you register.
10 Friends – Forward this e-mail to 10 others, encouraging them to please help the March of Dimes this year.

Were not asking each person to give a lot, BUT WE DO NEED a lot of people to each give a little. AND JUST SO you know where your money goes, click here to see: http://marchforbabies.org/whereyourmoneygoes.aspx

THANK YOU so much for helping! There is no such thing as a small contribution. ALL our dollars work together to save babies from prematurity and birth defects!

THANKS again!

Denise Privett

Random thoughts and Elijah update...

2009-04-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

I know today is supposed to be wordless Wednesday, but I think I'll make an exception since I haven't updated in a few days. I'm sitting outside enjoying the sunshine and my view of the mountains. It is so strange, I have lived in the mountains for my whole life and took them for granted. Last summer, when we had to spend four very long months in the Florida heat I really longed for the mountains. I have a new appreciation for the lovely area I live in. There may not be a lot going on in my small town but it is a great place to raise kids and we have great weather! We may not have a big night life, but I feel like we live in mother natures playground, to bad it took me 32 years to realize it! :O)

Elijah's birthday party was a hit! We had a beautiful day, lots of friends and family, a grill, and birthday cake! Who could ask for a better first birthday party! The only bad part was that I lost my memory card to my digital camera? :O(

The kids are over their illness's, Elijah passed his swallow test. He is not aspirating and the therapist even suggested that I start some textures with Elijah, like graham crackers and puffs!

We traveled to Roanoke on Monday for the swallow study, a four hour round trip. Tomorrow we will make the 6 hour round trip to North Carolina, the insurance finally approved Elijah's DOC band. We should have that by mid May.

This swine flu situation is making me very nervous, especially with the amount of travel we have to do. My toddler constantly touches everything he comes into contact with. When we are out I'll wash his hands and then he touches the wall, the more I tell him not to touch, the more he is determined to touch. I also worry because my husbands job puts him into contact with a lot of truck drivers from all over the country. I just pray for Gods protection on my family during these scary, scary times!

Ups and Downs!

2009-04-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

As I write this I am sitting out here in my yard enjoying this 85 degree day! Wow it is hot, I don't know how I made it in Florida for four months last year, April- August. I thought I would melt today. Earlier I was so excited. My old van needs some repairs, it needs brake shoes and something is wrong with one of the belts. My mom had called me to tell me that my father had spoke to a man that he knew who has a garage, this gentleman said that if we bought the parts he would look at it and fix it for free. After hearing this I was so happy, then I jump in the van to go order Elijah's birthday cake and do some shopping for his birthday party tomorrow and discover that the air conditioner doesn't work anymore. GREAT! I actually cried!

On the upside, the insurance did approve Elijah's DOC band, on the downside we will have to make 6 hour round trips to Charlotte, every other week, sometimes even weekly! Without an air conditioner, in the summer!

What a day! I ask for your prayers for this situation. Thank you! :O)

Oh how I've grown...

2009-04-23T06:37:00.003-07:00

This is the earliest picture I can find of Elijah, he is actually almost a month old in this picture, due to this being a "surprise" delivery 12 hours away from home, and the fact that I was hospitalized several times after the babies births with life threatening complications we were not able to get a lot of very early pictures of the babies. Elijah was actually fairly stable in this picture, right after Elijah's birth he was very ill and had to have a surgery that almost took his life. But thankfully God worked the first of many miracles at that time! I do have one picture the NICU staff took for me right after his birth, I am trying to locate it and I will post it as soon as I find it! You can see how small he is in this picture, imagine how small he was at birth, weighing 1lb 8oz and being 13 inches long!

Little Feet

Bigger Feet

Elijah's last night in the NICU, see how jaundiced he still is. Elijah had severe liver damage due to the IV HAL nutrition he had to stay on for the first 3-4 months of his life. Elijah had his first bottle about 3 weeks before he came home, he came home on August 6th at four months of age, his due date was August 1st!

Early days at home.

No more Oxygen! Elijah was able to get off his supplemental oxygen in early October.

Happy Baby! Elijah now!

Insurance Approval???

2009-04-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

We are still waiting on insurance approval for Elijahs DOC band. This is very frustrating! If you don't know what a DOC band is visit cranialtech.com
We were supposed to have a reply from the insurance last week. This is so frustrating. It takes me back to the days when we were in Florida and trying to get the insurance to approve a transfer for Elijah, which of course if you have followed my blog or read the earlier posts, you will know they denied the request.

I would like to write more but I am currently trying to get my MESSY house ready for Elijah's birthday party here on Saturday. I will be sure to post some pictures!

"Pray for me....Pray for others"

2009-04-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Urgent: Prayers needed for Kayleigh

2009-04-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

Please pray for Kayleigh Freeman and her family:

http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com

And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you. (Luke 17:6)

Poor, poor, me, lol!

2009-04-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

Well a good thing is that Elijah is feeling much better, he is a little grumpy because he wants his baby food back, I am still waiting on a call about that referral for a swallow study, you would think that the pediatricians office would try and rush something like that when a one year old baby has been cut back to only formula thickened with rice. I'm confused about this anyway. Elijah has passed this study once before. Is he more likely to aspirate on baby food than formula?

I am also EXTREMELY frustrated with the insurance issue about Elijah's DOC band. It has been over a month since the initial appointment where we were informed that Elijah badly needed the DOC band, and that time was very important in this matter. After being told that our insurance "never" denied coverage for this we were told that coverage was denied. Then we are told the medical director of the insurance company was reviewing the denial and we would hear something by last Friday. Well today is Monday and when I call I get "we haven't heard anything yet, we'll call you as soon as we do", and of course I say "thank you for your time". When I wanted to say: "Well Then Do Something, Call them Now, Find Out What The Hold Up is, This Is My Baby's Head we are Talking About, This Is His Brain That YOU Said Would Not Develop Right if He Didn't get It, and I Don't Have Several THOUSAND Dollars to Get It For Him, I'll be lucky to have the gas money to get him down there for the weekly fittings!". I really wish I would have said that to them. Oh well, maybe tomorrow because I plan on calling them every day until I get a reply! Just like I will call the pediatrician back until I get the appointment for the swallow study. They better not tell me that the swallow study will be like in July or something, I doubt Elijah will live off of only formula until then!

I'm also VERY frustrated with the fact that I am trying to clean for Elijah's birthday party on Saturday and can't get anything accomplished. Maybe if I throw this computer out of the window, and then call my non-existent babysitter, maybe then I can get something done!

It really amazes me how little help we have been offered since this tragedy in our lives. Because losing two babies and having one in a NICU for four months with many medical problems is a tragedy. Being 12 hours away from home, family, and children during this time was a nightmare, it wasn't like I could leave the NICU and go home to my bed and my other children. I couldn't go to my church and receive love and support from my church family. We have been back home for 8 months. There have been very few offers of help. I am thankful for those friends and family who have offered help to us, you know who you are! It is true what they say about how when a tragedy strikes you "find out who your friends are"! I am of course thankful to God because even if everyone else deserts us, I know he will never leave or forsake us, and for that I am eternally grateful!

Well enough of me feeling sorry for myself, there is a lot going on in my life that I don't mention on here, though I might talk about it some day. I'm sure it plays into my pity party as well!

Pray for me and my family, pray for baby Elijah, because we are truly in need of your prayers!

Doing better...

2009-04-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

Elijah is doing better now. The past few days he seemed to get worse, especially at night. On Thursday night I didn't sleep at all, I sat up and watched him. He was so stuffy, wheezing, and was breathing really fast. His hands and feet were turning blue again as well as his lips. I came very close to going to the ER, but I hate to expose him to those germs and to the hospital staff who don't really know how to deal with such a small baby with his unique circumstances. So I gave him a breathing treatment and watched him. I took him to the doctor the next morning. He had a ear infection. The doctor is afraid that he is aspirating his food, so we can't feed him anything other than formula until he has a swallow study done. That means more traveling. I just hope he passes the test!

I am thankful that he did well last night and is doing well tonight too. I haven't had to give him a breathing treatment since yesterday! YAY!

Well I know this is a short post. I'm just so tired. I plan on doing a blog detailing our time in Florida with Elijah and his brothers. I am going to use the journal I kept in the NICU and the myspace blog that I updated during that time to help me remember! So keep checking back! I hope to start on that soon!

Pictures

2009-04-16T21:34:00.001-07:00

Sleepy Baby!
Proud Big Brother...

Happy Baby!

Little man and daddy....

The Birthday Boy, one year old on Easter 4-12-09

Update and Hateful Insurance Companies

2009-04-14T13:38:00.000-07:00

Elijah seems to be on the mend. We went back to the pediatrician today. He is still wheezing and having some problems breathing at night. So I am to continue breathing treatments and they have started him on steroids. Yuck, but maybe that will help with the breathing issues at night by reducing inflammation. Maybe I'll be able to actually sleep again someday soon!
I worked all night to finish a paper for my class, we went to the doctor and pharmacy today and here I sit in the middle of a "Very Messy House" and I am blogging! I will clean my house this week, I promise! LOL!
I am very upset, I have actually just been informed that Elijah's insurance has denied the claim for his DOC band. This after they have terrified me by telling me the following:

My son's head will be deformed, his face is our of line, he has one eye and ear out of place, he'll be made fun of in school
He needs the band to help with his torticollis
If he don't have the band his skull shape will interfere with brain growth

Needless to say I am ready to do battle! Please keep us in your prayers. I hate to deal with these insurance companies, it takes me back to the NICU day's when they refused to fly my son closer to home and we spent four months 12 hours away from home, away from our children, without family, in a strange place!

Wow, I am upset!

Please pray, pray, pray, if Elijah needs this I want him to have it!

Poor Little Sick baby :O(

2009-04-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Breathing treatment time.
He likes the pacifier setting.

Look at my little red nose!

You can tell how sick he was, and look at those little blue hands! It's been a scary week or so at my house and we are still not completely well. We go back to the doctor this week, say a prayer for Elijah!

Thank you and God bless! :O)

4/12/2008

2009-04-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter everyone. I am so thankful that my Saviour has risen! When I reflect over the past year I know I would have never made it without my Lord. A year ago last night I was laying in a hospital in Tampa, Fl. The only members of my family present were my husband and our (almost) two year old son. They were pumping me full of drugs, trying to mature the babies lungs, trying to keep the babies from being born. On the morning of April 11th a ultrasound was done, mainly to check on little David. David was the baby that was affected when my water broke, he was essentially partially born for almost a week. For a week David defied the odds. The doctors were amazed that this child was still holding on. On the April 11th ultrasound David still had a strong heartbeat. On the morning of April 12th our Lord decided to take David home. I named this child David, mostly because his strength reminded me of another David. A little boy who, by Gods grace, fought a giant and won. Some may say that my David did not win his battle, but I say he did. David is now in heaven, he will celebrate Easter with his brother Lucas, and with so many others who have left us, my grandmother's my papaw's, and all of those friends and family members who have went home, and most importantly with our Lord. Whatever plan God had for David had been fullfilled on April 12th 2008, I do not know what that plan was, but I will know someday. I will never forget this little warrior, and I know I will hold him again, and the next time I hold him his cheeks will be pink with life, and he will smile up at me.

OOPS, forgot wordless Wed.

2009-04-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics...

Elijah

a older pic of me, Brian, and Dillan on my graduation day from college

Elijah when we first brought him home!

Early days in the NICU

Alex enjoying time with friends and a cupcake at the RMH in Tampa, Fl! Those were some of the worse days of my life but somehow some of the most blessed days!

Pray for Elijah, he's a sick little guy....

2009-04-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

Well we spent last night in the hospital. Elijah had a bad night on the night of the 7th. We sat up all night and yesterday I took him to the doctor. The doctor did two breathing treatments at the office, his oxygen Sat's were lower we would like so she decided to send him to the hospital. Elijah hasn't been in the hospital since his surgery in August. He didn't like it. I live in a small community, the nearest children's hospital is about an hour and a half away. Our little hospital is great, you couldn't ask to have more caring people taking care of you (for the most part). The big problem is that they don't seem to get a whole lot of pediatric patients.
The lab came to draw Elijah's blood, I had already mentioned that it was extremely hard to draw his blood. I just so happened to be down in the parking lot transferring my older son's car seat into my dads car when the lab arrived. My mother ended up being the one to try and help hold Elijah down to have blood drawn. It did not go well, my mother was extremely upset, and she let them know about it. When I went back up, I stepped off the elevator, the first thing I saw was my sister sitting on a bench in the lobby, she looked sick. The first thing I heard was a child screaming. The screams were so anguished and they sounded like a much older child. I looked at my sister and said, "that can't be Elijah" as his room was quite a distance from the elevators. My sister said that yes it was and that mom was losing it. When I went into the room there were three people holding Elijah down, he looked like a pincushion, he was bleeding from at least three places, and the lab tech was jabbing a needle into his arm, his arm was so hyper extended that I was afraid she was going to break it. My mom was livid! The tech finally got a little blood and ruled it to be enough, she was very impatient with Elijah. My mom said she had finally told her to quit hurting the baby and go get someone who knew what they were doing. Oh well, I hate that Elijah had to go through that. Then to add insult to injury Elijah fought the respiratory therapist when he was suctioning his nose out, so Elijah's nose started to bleed pretty bad. We are still getting clots of blood out of it.
I'm hoping we can weather the rest of this out at home, but I don't know for sure. The doctor seemed sure she would see us back at the hospital. She let me bring him home on breathing treatments. Right now I figure I had better get my shower, and pack up some stuff because we may have to go back.

Please keep us in your prayers!

Prayer requests

2009-04-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

Go to http://www.riggsfamilyblog.com to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.

illness and DOC band update...

2009-04-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

From the Olan Mills photo shoot, I wasn't really satisfied with these pics...

This is cute,though I wished they would try to make him smile!

Little Elijah....

Giving baby brother kisses.....

Elijah is hanging in there with this illness. I took him to the doctor and he does not have RSV. He is wheezing so we are doing breathing treatments. It is unbelievable, but this is the first time we have had to do breathing treatments with Elijah. You would think they would be a common occurance for a child born with so many lung issues, but Thank God they are not!

Our two year old is on an antibiotic finally, after three weeks of coughing!

I am waiting to here back from Cranial Tech about insurance coverage for the DOC band that Elijah will be needing. When they call us we will have to travel back down there and they will take images of Elijah's head and send them off so the band can be customized for his needs, then we will have to go back the next week to pick it up. After that we will have to travel at least every other week, maybe even weekly for adjustments.

I would be lying if I said this was not going to be very hard on us financially. I am really thankful that gas isn't four dollars a gallon right now! Last year after I lost my job, was put on bedrest for the pregnancy, and after Brians layoff and his huge pay cut, our van was repossessed. Thankfully, I was able to buy a used van. When I bought the van it had about 89,000 miles on it and needed some repair work. We knew that we would have to use the van alot to travel to my medical appointments about an hour and a half away. What we didn't anticipate was having to take the van to Florida and then when we came home the trips to various medical appointments in Roanoke, Charlottesville, Johnson City, and now Charlotte, NC. I honestly don't think this van will make it much longer, it now has about 105,000 miles on it and we have only had it for about a year! It is needing some major work, I'm afraid to have it looked at because I am afraid of what they will tell me! We may be looking at the expense of renting a car for some of our trips to Charlotte. Since the trip was so hard on us last time I had looked into a Ronald Mcdonald House so we could at least rest before coming back home, just to find out that the RMH in Charlotte is still under construction. If anyone knows of a RMH or similar organization in or near Charlotte please let me know!

Since all of this has happened I have never Asked for any help, even when we were 12 hours away from home, thankfully we had the Tampa RMH which provided us with so many of our needs, and of course friends and family sent us what they could and I am forever thankful (you know who you are :) Most of these people were struggling as much a we were at the time. They don't know how much we appreciated the help and the nice gestures, they often brightened very dark and frightening days! The small country church that I attended as a child, and haven't been to in years even took up money for us from their congregation, that money came just in time to assist us in getting Elijah home! God has always provided for our needs! I am so thankful to everyone who has helped!

I hope I don't have to ask people for help with this situation, but I may have to swallow my pride. We are just thankful to have Elijah home and healthy, we are thankful that we have been able to hang on to our house, though I'm not sure how long this can last.

I just ask for prayers that God will provide for this situation as he has always provided for us! I may open a pay pal account and if anyone feels led to give a few dollars we will forever appreciate it! If not we still want your prayers!

God Bless!

Still coughing.....

2009-04-04T21:57:00.001-07:00

Elijah is still coughing, now it seems like it is in his chest. If he is still coughing on Monday I am taking him to his doctor. We found out Friday that Elijah will have to have a DOC band. This is going to mean trips to North Carolina, weekly for a few weeks then bi-weekly. This is going to be very hard on us financially, but I try not to worry. I know God will provide! I'm so tired right now, but I will write more later on this. I am so behind in my online classes, but it is hard to worry about that right now! Keep praying for us!

More later! : )

Please pray...

2009-04-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Elijah is coughing a lot! It is starting to sound bad. We have made it this far without him being sick. I have been worried, in the past three weeks my husband, myself, and our 2 year old have been sick. I have bronchitis. I really DON'T want Elijah sick, I DON'T want him in the hospital again! Poor baby.

Please Pray!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

The Three Stooges, my dad and two cousins!

Little man playing on his early b-day present....

Baby E. enjoying the fresh air, but not the bright sun! : )

Little man and daddy in Tampa at the Ronald Mcdonald House, mommy was in the hospital when this photo was snapped!

My little preacher man fell asleep with mommy's Bible!

My Handsome boy's!

Well almost wordless anyway!! : )

So sick, please pray.....

2009-03-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

I am sick, my two year old is sick, my husband is sick and Elijah is coughing. I can't tell if it is just from reflux or if he is getting sick. He hasn't had a fever. Please if you read this say a prayer that he will not get sick. I know God's hand is on Elijah! Will post when I feel better!

Thank You,
Denise

Something to think about...

2009-03-28T11:23:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think of how innocent little children are? Children haven't yet been corrupted by the things of the world. Think about it, children learn from what they see and what we teach them. A child loves everyone, a child does not judge people by what race they are or how they look. Then they learn these things from their parents, at school from other children (who also learned it from their parents), and on television. I believe we will be held accountable for what we teach our children,and for what we don't teach them. No we can't shut out everything but we can give them a strong base to draw from as they get older and start understanding right from wrong!
Have you ever thought about Matthew 18:3
Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Check out this video: Alex singing my redeemer lives, so precious!

My dream

2009-03-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to post the dream I had the other morning. It was really a amazing dream. I dreamed that I was riding to church with my sister (who never goes to church with me). In my dream it was night. I was driving and it was a dark and a very strange thing happened. The moon just literally shot across the sky and was gone. I looked at my sister and said something is getting ready to happen, I can remember her grabbing her bible and opening it. Then I looked back up at the sky and there was a loud sound, like thunder but much louder and for one split second I felt a great fear, and then Jesus appeared in the sky, he was in the sky but it was like he was right there in front of me, and the fear was gone and I felt a great peace, like nothing I had been worried about mattered anymore. Then in a instant, before I even had time to take it in I was no longer driving the car, I was instantly somewhere else. I was in a large room with a few other people. The only person I recognized there was my mother. As I walked toward my mom Jesus appeared in the room. He looked just like a regular man but he was glowing and peace just radiated from him. He took my hand and spoke to me and he said "I have something to show you" he then led me to a door. We went through this door into another room which was empty. On the other side of this room was another door. He opened this door and led me into this room. I can remember this room was very cozy, it seems like there was a lady in there that I didn't recognize. In this room there were little cradles set up in a circle. We walked over to two of them and Jesus said "here are your children". I saw Lucas and David in these cribs, they were still tiny but they were alive and breathing. Then a strange thing happened, another baby in a crib next to Lucas raised it's head up (I think this baby was a girl) she was a little older than Lucas and David and had a head full of blond hair and she smiled at me. I thought "I wonder who this baby belongs to" I reached out and rubbed her head, then I woke up suddenly.
When I woke up it took a moment for me to figure out that I was at home in bed. Usually when I dream I have some kind of knowledge that this is only a dream. This dream was so real, I really thought Jesus had came back and I was in heaven with him and my babies. It was a beautiful dream and I just felt like sharing it with everyone!

Elijah update:
Elijah is doing well, he recently had a 6 month followup exam on his eyes. I had noticed his eyes crossing a little at times, but not all of the time so I wasn't sure if I was imagining it. Well turns out I wasn't, the doctor says he is having some intermittent crossing of his eyes. Right now we will just wait and see if it corrects itself. We go back in two months for a checkup and then if his eyes are still crossing we will discuss the options. I do know God can heal Elijah's eyes without him needing surgery, if it is his will!

Just a funny little thing Alex said:
You know you are spending to much time on the computer when your 2 year old looks at you one day and out of the clear blue says "mommy it's not your space it's my space!"

I hope everyone enjoys the pictures of the kids I posted on Wednesday. I had them done at Sears and was so pleased with them! I also have some coming from Olan Mills with just Alex and Elijah. I like them but the more I think about it the more Displeased I am with them. It bothers me that they only had Elijah in one pose the whole time. They were extremely overbooked and rushing us it was a nightmare.
When I filled the form out with the boy's names and ages on them of course I felt the need to explain that the reason Elijah was so small was because he was a micro preemie. I told the photographer he could only sit with support, so what does she do? She plops him on his side and in a basket, yes one pose for the whole session, never tries to sit him up. As you can see from the Sears session, he is sitting up in one of the pictures. I end up paying a fortune for a bunch of pictures I haven't even received in the mail yet (it's been three weeks). The more I think about it, the more I think I am going to request Elijah's pictures be retaken, what do you think?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

I have seen another blogger do wordless Wednesday, on this day she does no blogging but just posts pictures. I think I am going to do that as well. I am going to try to update my blog more often, and this seems like a good way to do it! So today will be wordless Wednesday and I'll tell you all about Elijah's eye exam on Thursday! I know that I'm using words right now, I'll do it right next week!

Memories of the NICU and God's grace!

2009-03-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

The nice weather we have been having lately makes me anxious for Spring! We'll get a couple of warm days though and then it gets cold! Alex is loving the warm weather and I was able to take Elijah out for some fresh air.

I am getting a little concerned about Elijah's development. I know it will take a while for him to catch up. After all he was four months early, he also went through two major surgeries, one of them when he was only a few days old. It is amazing that they can do surgery on such a tiny baby. His doctors are actually amazed at him and he has been called a "miracle" more than once! Last week he was weighed, his weight was 16 pounds exactly! It was by the Grace of God that he survived.

I remember the night of his surgery well because it was the night I went to the E.R. and found out I had blood clots in my lungs. I believe me and Elijah both came close to going home that night! I am so thankful that God saved us, I'm thankful he left me here for my children.

I was sitting in my hospital room, on supplemental oxygen when two NICU doctors came into my room. This happened often during those early weeks (yes I was in the hospital off and on for three months). Every time I saw those doctors coming I knew it was bad news, and every time they came I felt like they were teaming up on me. It usually started with them telling me how sick the babies were (I knew this). Then they would focus on everything that was wrong with the babies and how slim the chances were that they would have any quality of life. Well this particular time they were trying to convince me to discontinue care on Elijah, Lucas was actually doing well at that time, aside from having a Grade IV bleed in his brain.

Elijah was bleeding from his surgical site, his blood had been transfused so many times that all of the blood in his body had been replaced. They said he would not make it through the night. We should come down and see him one last time, we should think about taking him off the respirator and end his suffering. One of the doctors was crying and they almost had me convinced. But, something deep inside of me told me NO! I honestly believe it was the voice of God. I did go to the NICU that night. Instead of allowing the nurses to take Elijah off the respirator, instead of holding him as he breathed his last breath (as we would do with our Lucas a few weeks later), instead of doing these things I decided to reach into the isollette of that tiny, sick, pale, and lifeless baby. I put my hand over his stomach where the blood was soaking through the bandages, as donated blood dripped into his veins. I simply prayed, as so many friends and family were doing back home. I don't remember the words I said, but I do know that God healed that baby. I went back to my hospital room and my husband and Alex went back to the Ronald McDonald House. It is amazing how the fear left me, I knew that that tiny little body was in the hands of God. I knew that the will of God would be done no matter what and that I had made the right decision.

The next morning the phone didn't ring, I called down to the NICU to see how Elijah was doing. I was told that the bleeding had stopped during the night, and they didn't want to take the bloody gauze of yet in fear of restarting the bleeding. I knew that the bleeding would not start again, and even when they tore that gauze off it didn't.

After that I had peace about Elijah, not to say my faith wasn't tested time and again. Like when they told me a head scan had shown that Elijah had a grade four bleed, that was gone by the next scan. Then a few weeks later they decided they saw a cyst in his brain, he was sent for a MRI and guess what. There was no cyst.

As you know recently we were told that the Cardiomyopathy Elijah had been diagnosed with in the NICU and that was confirmed by another Cardiologist once we came home was no longer there. More prayers sent up by so many people, and a another touch from God.

I don't care what anyone says. I know my God lives and I know he loves us and that he still heals, if it is his will. I know he has a special plan for Elijah's life, and I know he wants Elijahs life to be a testimony of his Grace and his Glory!

I have been in God's presence so many times. He was there when he was healing my Elijah and he was there when Lucas left my arms and flew into his loving arms. So no matter what you are going through, please know that God is still there, you just have to seek his presence, he will never leave us.

My reply ....

2009-03-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

Here is a copy of my reply to the article and comments mentioned in the last post. It is just the way I feel and comes from my heart. I hope I don't offend anyone, the majority of the nurses who cared for my boy's were wonderful! But, early on there were a few struggles and hurtful things said. The reply I wrote was mainly due to the fact that one of the commenters on the article said "My issue is that even if your baby is one of the 18% that survive and one of the even smaller numbers that have no sequela, parents have no idea what kind of torture they are signing their baby up for when they say do every thing. Nurses try to be as gentle as possible obviously but nearly every moment of these babies existance is taken up by painful disruptive treatments that keep them alive. It is cruel and in any other population it would not be tolerated."

Here is my response:
I am the mother of a surviving triplet who was born at 24 weeks. If I would have stopped care as the doctors suggested I would not have my happy little miracle baby who is almost a year old and doing great! As for the comments made about torture. There are children undergoing painful treatments for cancer every day and I don't hear anyone saying just to let them die! As far as NICU staff goes, most were wonderful. Then there were those who acted angry at having to save my baby. I had rude comments made to me by nurses about "people treating their animals better" and was put under a lot of pressure from Doctors, until I finally put my foot down. What I am trying to say is that NICU staff needs to treat families with respect no matter what they decide, after all it is not your child. Maybe if you put yourself in their shoes, what if it were your child in the NICU? Or what if it were your child facing months maybe even years of pain and cancer treatments? Would you still feel the same way? If you don't want to save babies then maybe you shouldn't be working in a NICU. One thing is obvious these tiny babies fight hard for their lives. I held one of my boy's as he died and watched him gasp for breath, he died fighting. I will never forget this as long as I live.
Please be kind and watch what you say, you never know who may be reading your words!

At Your Cervix: Argumentative Paper - Resuscitation of 24 weekers

2009-03-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

At Your Cervix: Argumentative Paper - Resuscitation of 24 weekers

I guess I knew that a lot of NICU staff felt this way, it is not the paper that bothered me so much but some of the comments made! I am glad I asked the doctors to save my baby. God is the giver of life, and if it is Gods will, he will take it away. I am so glad that GOD is in control and not these doctors and nurses!

Hi/Lo Thursday

2009-03-19T08:03:00.001-07:00

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the a href="Riggs Family Blog. Check out http://www.riggsfamilyblog.com">their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.

My Highs
I am just so thankful for God for all of the blessings he has for his children and for his son Jesus Christ, I am also thankful for my children and that Elijah is doing so well in spite of everything he had going against him!

My Lows
I am still worried about our financial situation. I wish I did not worry so much about my children, I know I need to learn to trust in God to protect my children and let go of the worry I have.

...where laughter lives: The Riggs Family: A Pic, A Video & A Date!

2009-03-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

...where laughter lives: The Riggs Family: A Pic, A Video & A Date!

David

2009-03-17T11:34:00.001-07:00

I have always felt bad that I never put a picture of David on here. Since David was stillborn we only have one picture of him, I wish I had more but my surgery was so bad and my husband was so upset at that time. We didn't even have our camera with us, since we had no idea we were going to be in Florida for four months and that our babies would be born there. I hesitated to put this picture on here since it was taken after his death. But he was such a lovely little boy, perfect in every way. So I wanted to share him with you. It helps to imagine him and Lucas in heaven, perfect little children laughing and following Jesus. I know they suffered so much in their short time here, David was left in the birth canal for 4 days and he fought to live, I agonize over that sometimes. But, I wasn't myself due to the Mag and whatever else they had me on. The doctors did not want to deliver him because they said it would mean the death of my other boy's. But God is victorious, Praise God they will never hurt again. They were perfect and will remain that way, sin will never touch them.
I am thinking of them a lot lately, since we are fast coming up on their birth date. I thank God for Elijah and I know we will be with his brothers again someday!

2009-03-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

I took Elijah to the doctor today. His home health nurse and early intervention seemed concerned about the shape of his head. At 24 weeks, when most babies are still floating around in the womb, Elijah was placed on his back for 24 hours a day. This was due to his chest tube and the ventilator. After coming off the vent he was placed on CPAP. This put constant pressure on the sides of his head. So his head has always been shaped funny and he has torticollis (tight muscles in the neck). We had hoped that his head shape would go back to normal, but it don't seem to be doing that. A baby's head is "moldable" until the sutures in the bones close. This happens around 18 months of age. So it is very important that we do something now or his head will always be shaped funny and this can cause him lots of problems later on. This means that Elijah will have to wear a DOC band on his head, think helmet.

He will wear it 23 hours a day until his head is reshaped. The bad thing about this is that the closest people who do this is in Charlotte, NC. It will mean weekly or biweekly trips each week, because the band has to be constantly adjusted. It is times like this that I hate the area I live in. We have had to travel so much this past year to see every specialist imaginable. It is going to be hard on us financially and we will probably have to rent a car each time because my old van is about to wear out, it is very close to going into the shop and I am very afraid of what they will say when it does! I will have to make these trips by myself because Brian won't be able t take off work, and each time he takes off sets us back. I know I need to continue to trust God that he will provide as he has done since the day Elijah was born. I get frustrated and worried sometimes but I don't want to let my faith in God waver. How can I when he has done so much for us. If not for God's power and grace Elijah would not be with us right now, and with a healed heart! It is by Gods grace that we are still in our home, and not even late on our payments, when Brian has took a HUGE paycut since being laid off at General Dyanamics and me unable to work. I know things will work out, and I thank God for all he has done for us, and all he will do!

If you want more information about the DOC Band go to www.cranialtech.com this actually affects full term babies as well, due to being on their backs alot! You can also see pictures of the bands on this web site.

Hi/Lo Thursday

2009-03-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.

My High
We found out that God has healed Elijah's heart, the cardiologist said he has normal heart function now!

My Low
I guess that would be the worry about our finances and my husbands job. We also found out that Elijah will probably need a special helmet from cranial tech. The helmet will help reshape and repair some of the damage done to his head from his positioning in the NICU, the CPAP he was on for months, and his torticollis. If he needs this we will have to make weekly trips to North Carolina (6 hour round trip)for adjustments. Add this to the frequent trips we already make. This will be very difficult on us physically as well as financially!

Elijahs heart- There is hope because God heals!!

2009-03-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

As most of you know Elijah was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy while in the NICU in Tampa Florida. First they told me he had Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, then when we saw a cardiologist in Kingsport he diagnosed him with Dialated Cardiomyopathy which is even worse! According to the Cariomyopathy Foundation the long term prognosis for this disease is as follows:
"Currently, the five year survival rate for children diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is roughly 85-95%, and for children diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy, it is 40-50%. Children with restrictive cardiomyopathy have a 44-50% chance for 2 year survival following presentation"(http://www.childrenscardiomyopathy.org/site/prognosis.php).
I did not find out until today that they had changed his diagnosis to dilated cardiomyopathy, I found out when the new cardiologist was going over his records from my pediatricians office with me.
I know this all sounds bad but I have really great news, the cardiologist we saw today says that Elijah's heart is functioning normal. She said that the issue has apparantly resolved. He does have a small pocket of fluid around his heart which she said she was not worried about, she said it was probably caused by a virus. I know that God has healed Elijah, multiple tests were done in Tampa, and a additional one at home, his hands and feet would even turn blue. A NICU doctor had even mentioned the word "transplant" once when I asked about the long term implications.
God has done so much for Elijah, and he has brought him so far. There were so many times in the NICU that he was near death. When he had his first surgery I was told that he would not make it through the night, I prayed, and he did. When the doctors told me that he had a Grade IV bleed in his brain, I prayed, and with the next scan it was gone. I was told so many negative things while Elijah was in the hospital, but I just knew in my heart that God was going to heal him, and he did.
I want to thank everyone who has prayed for Elijah, please continue to keep Elijah and my family in your prayers! We are getting ready to leave Charlottesville right now, I will post some more pictures soon!

A Big Event is coming up!

2009-02-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, it has been a long time. Elijah is doing well. We have a appointment for him in Charlottesville at UVA Medical Center in Charlottesville next week. He will be seeing a Cardiologist that specializes in Pediatric Cardiomyopathy. Elijah will be 11 months old on March 12. His current weight is 16 lbs. He is still recieving PT at home and we are looking forward to the Spring and his first birthday in April!

I have started a team, Team Elijah, Lucas, and David for the March of Dimes, March for Babies. This event is coming up in May. I am looking for sponsers, please visit my page for more information, it can be found at http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?si=5060648C-5A65-43A7-ABB8-1B659217D747&prefill=

Holiday Blog

2009-01-02T21:02:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year!

Hello. Sorry it has been so long. Elijah is doing great. I'm so pleased. The last time he was weighed (about 3 weeks ago) he was 13 lbs! He has come a long way. He is getting so active now, he loves to stand up on my lap and bounce and he has the sweetest giggle! He is just starting to reach out for things and when I put a toy in his hand he will shake it and bring it to his mouth. He even tries to grab his bottle and pull it to his mouth. I'm still a little concerned about the cardiomyopathy and am thinking about taking him to Charlottesville, VA to see a Cardiologist that specializes in this. He seems fine, but breathes a little fast at times. All of the doctors tell me not to worry, but I'm not taking chances with this little guy.

We had a great Christmas, I missed my two angels but I was so happy to have Elijah here. I am so thankful and never forget to thank God for the blessings he has given us. I was reminded of this last weekend, when a local couple lost their four year old daughter in a car accident right down the road. So very sad.

I'm going to add some pictures of Elijah and Alex. I hope you enjoy them!

Just about life in general

2008-11-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. Elijah is doing really well. We have been lucky so far and avoided illness! He is eating baby food now and weighs 12 lbs. He is growing fast now and looks really good, I'll post some more pictures soon. He is smiling and starting to laugh a little. So far things are looking good developmentally, he is just a little behind his adjusted age in a few things. When I put him on the floor he can wiggle his way around, he is very active.
We still have plenty of doctor appointments. His pulmonologist may be taking him off the apnea monitor soon, because all our alarms are false now. He has to go back to the surgeon because his hernia is back. I took him to another surgeon who said if the hernia was back it was because there may have been pelvic floor damage during his last surgery, that is just great. I do know if he needs additional surgery I am going to fight having the same surgeon do it, and I know I don't want him at Johnson City Medical Center. I'm hoping the surgeon in Roanoke will agree to do it.
Alex is doing great, I can't believe how smart he is at 2 and a half. He knows his ABC's and most of his colors, he can count to 12, and he can count to 5 in Spanish. The child's vocabulary amazes me, he talks like a 4 year old. He scares me sometimes, I mean how am I going to keep up with him! I hope to have him reading by the time he is four. I am looking forward to Christmas this year, Alex is so excited about it that I already put our tree up. I am thinking about taking him and Dillan to Dollywood, I know it's not cheap but they are only little once! I love to see him so excited!
My classes are keeping me VERY busy! I didn't realize the amount of work involved in getting a Masters, I guess I should have though. The University of Phoenix is great, I should have done this a long time ago!
I can't believe Dillan will be in high school next year, where does the time go? Well I hope my rambling didn't bother you to much, I guess I should run, I have alot to do!

Lucas

2008-10-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of baby Lucas, he died from NEC in the NICU on May 6, 2008. We also lost his brother David who was born still. They are in the arms of the Lord.

The Angel's kiss
Our dear Christ knew the way was rough,
and his precious body was not strong enough,So, He called an Angel and sweetly smiled,
as He laid in her arms a darling little child.
"Be very tender with him", He said,
"I took him gently from his mother's arms,
I did not mean to cause his mother any pain,
and he was not taken in vain.
He had such tiny hands and feet,
he was so helpless and dear and sweet,
he could not walk earth's stormy way,
so I brought him back to Heaven today."
He will grow beautiful and strong,
for the ones he left behind who care.
His family is very pained at heart and over and over their teardrops start.
But we'll love and keep him, you and I,until they come to meet her by and by.
A notion? Perhaps, but I'm sure of this:This sweet child woke and smiled at the Angel's kiss.