Poor, poor, me, lol!

Well a good thing is that Elijah is feeling much better, he is a little grumpy because he wants his baby food back, I am still waiting on a call about that referral for a swallow study, you would think that the pediatricians office would try and rush something like that when a one year old baby has been cut back to only formula thickened with rice. I'm confused about this anyway. Elijah has passed this study once before. Is he more likely to aspirate on baby food than formula?

I am also EXTREMELY frustrated with the insurance issue about Elijah's DOC band. It has been over a month since the initial appointment where we were informed that Elijah badly needed the DOC band, and that time was very important in this matter. After being told that our insurance "never" denied coverage for this we were told that coverage was denied. Then we are told the medical director of the insurance company was reviewing the denial and we would hear something by last Friday. Well today is Monday and when I call I get "we haven't heard anything yet, we'll call you as soon as we do", and of course I say "thank you for your time". When I wanted to say: "Well Then Do Something, Call them Now, Find Out What The Hold Up is, This Is My Baby's Head we are Talking About, This Is His Brain That YOU Said Would Not Develop Right if He Didn't get It, and I Don't Have Several THOUSAND Dollars to Get It For Him, I'll be lucky to have the gas money to get him down there for the weekly fittings!". I really wish I would have said that to them. Oh well, maybe tomorrow because I plan on calling them every day until I get a reply! Just like I will call the pediatrician back until I get the appointment for the swallow study. They better not tell me that the swallow study will be like in July or something, I doubt Elijah will live off of only formula until then!

I'm also VERY frustrated with the fact that I am trying to clean for Elijah's birthday party on Saturday and can't get anything accomplished. Maybe if I throw this computer out of the window, and then call my non-existent babysitter, maybe then I can get something done!

It really amazes me how little help we have been offered since this tragedy in our lives. Because losing two babies and having one in a NICU for four months with many medical problems is a tragedy. Being 12 hours away from home, family, and children during this time was a nightmare, it wasn't like I could leave the NICU and go home to my bed and my other children. I couldn't go to my church and receive love and support from my church family. We have been back home for 8 months. There have been very few offers of help. I am thankful for those friends and family who have offered help to us, you know who you are! It is true what they say about how when a tragedy strikes you "find out who your friends are"! I am of course thankful to God because even if everyone else deserts us, I know he will never leave or forsake us, and for that I am eternally grateful!

Well enough of me feeling sorry for myself, there is a lot going on in my life that I don't mention on here, though I might talk about it some day. I'm sure it plays into my pity party as well!

Pray for me and my family, pray for baby Elijah, because we are truly in need of your prayers!