I'm just upset, and yes I'm angry. I'm not angry at God, I am just angry about the way of this world. I am angry that my child has suffered so much, I'm angry that there is such a thing as Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, that I lost two children to it, and that TTTS is the reason Elijah still has problems. I'm angry because my life is so stressful. I get angry when I see people going about their lives with their healthy children and I hear them complain about the silliest things. I don't want to be this way, I understand that I used to be just like those people. Once, not so long ago my biggest worry was whether or not I would get a A in one of my classes, or whether or not my child would be a football star or a genius.
Now before you get mad I am not saying that you or anyone else for that matter doesn't have a right to worry yourselves with things like this. I am saying just be thankful if that is all you have to worry about. Give God the thanks he deserves for all of the blessings you have. In spite of it all I will still Thank God for my blessings, because I do have blessings.
I am thankful, because I know that even though things seem bad, they could always be worse. I know God has a plan for Elijah's life, I know that Elijah is a miracle and that he will be used to glorify God, he is living proof of the fact that YES, God does still perform miracles.
When Elijah was born he was pretty much as close to death as anyone can get. He couldn't breathe on his own, he was brought through life threatening illnesses and surgeries, even when man had given up hope, God brought Elijah through. I will never stop praising God for all he has done for Elijah, and I trust him to bring us through this valley and to the top of the mountain once again!
Elijah several months ago at a birthday party....
1 comment:
It makes me angry too. Not at God, but at things like "prematurity". As mom to 5 2nd tri babies (3 of whom died because of their extreme prematurity), it really kills me when people complain that their baby had X color eyes or hair, or that they "got a boy/girl" instead of what they wanted. I wanted healthy, full term babies. Nothing else mattered. Prematurity took three of them moments after they were born, and my surviving twins (born at 27w5d) spent 9 weeks in the NICU; thankfully, they were relatively uneventful in comparison to other families' times there, but it never ceases to irk me when people complain about "normal" things when moms like us would give anything for everything to have been normal.
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