I have been nostalgic for the past couple of weeks, maybe it is the upcoming Christmas season. I don't know. While we were decorating our tree, the first thing I pulled out was the tiny blue stockings I bought 3 years ago, in memory of what would have been Lucas and David's first Christmas. I try not to think about what it would have been like, having three little Elijah's running around, wreaking havoc! I know that two of my boy's celebrate in heaven, and what better place to celebrate the birth of Christ? It is hard not to have them here with us though.
It is human to question why, but I know God has and is working through this situation. Sometimes I feel like he is so far away, but I know from experience, that God is near. I heard someone who almost lost his wife in a car accident say, "God knows my name." That is the way it is, God does know our names, he loves us on a personal level. He was very present in my life during that time of need, and yes, he is still here.
He sent angels to comfort me, in human form. I was so far from home, I felt so alone, I met so many people during that time. Some who I spent a lot of time with and some who only touched my life for a moment, all of them were important, and all of them helped me in some way. I am amazed at the complete strangers who became dear friends, who sat up with me late at night, those who laughed and cried with me. I will never forget them, they were a gift from God. Whenever I despair about the evil in this world I take hope from knowing that, yes, their are dear kind people in this world. God puts them right where you need them. I am so thankful!
I hope everyone who reads this has a blessed Christmas. I have included some pictures of our little miracle walking, the one the doctors gave no hope, the one who wasn't supposed to make it through the night, the one who was never going to walk, who turned three last spring, and whose smile lights up a room. Yes, there are miracles, you can deny it all you want, but I have one living right here with me!