Thursday, February 23, 2012

From the heart....

I felt compelled to write on Elijah's blog tonight. I'm not sure why and I am not even sure of what I am going to say. It has been almost four years since my triplets were born, almost four years since David and then Lucas left us. Elijah was saved, and that is what I consider it "saved". He was on the verge of death when God reached down and saved his life,  answered my heart felt prayers, allowed him to stay here with us instead of taking him to be with his brothers. There are those who will say, well the doctors saved his life. My reply is, yes, the doctors and the nurses did have a hand in saving his life. It was their God given talents that allowed them to save Elijah, whether they know and accept this or not, I truly believe with all of my heart that without God, we would all be nothing, whether you believe or not, I know in my heart this is how it is.  I also know, that in the very moment when the doctors gave up on him, when they told me there was no hope, the moment I and so many others cried out in prayer for Elijah, when I begged God not to take his life, to please leave me one of my babies, I know at this moment that God truly touched my child.  Since that moment there have been many ups and downs. There has been heartbreak and tears, but I do know God is in control. Have I questioned Him? Yes, I am human, I know it is wrong to question, but there are so many questions, and I have the comfort of knowing that one day all things will be revealed. Do I have anxiety, yes I do, and I pray every day that God will relieve me of my fears and that I will learn to trust him with everything, to let it all go and lay my fears at his feet. I ask for your continued prayers for myself, for Elijah who still bears the scars and the hardships of his ordeal, and for his brothers. I ask for prayers of hope, strength, and healing. That is all I ask for.

I hope I'm not rambling to much, I hope this makes sense, but as I said, I felt compelled. Everything I wrote is from my heart. God bless you for taking the time to read this!


1 comment:

Dawnmarie said...

I just found your blog. We're considering adopting a micro preemie. He was born 1 lb 11 oz between 24 and 26 weeks. He tested positive for cocaine. We won't know prognosis for a few more days at least and if the birth parents pick us, we won't commit until prognosis.

Am I crazy to even consider it? What do I need to worry about? We've already had a failed adoption, and my heart has been broken. I've asked God not to let the parents pick us if this baby isn't coming home with us. I'm not sure what questions I need to ask. I'm not sure where to find reliable information about micro preemies. Is there anything you can share to help us with our decision?

Thanks for sharing your story.