Thursday, March 19, 2009
My reply ....
Here is a copy of my reply to the article and comments mentioned in the last post. It is just the way I feel and comes from my heart. I hope I don't offend anyone, the majority of the nurses who cared for my boy's were wonderful! But, early on there were a few struggles and hurtful things said. The reply I wrote was mainly due to the fact that one of the commenters on the article said "My issue is that even if your baby is one of the 18% that survive and one of the even smaller numbers that have no sequela, parents have no idea what kind of torture they are signing their baby up for when they say do every thing. Nurses try to be as gentle as possible obviously but nearly every moment of these babies existance is taken up by painful disruptive treatments that keep them alive. It is cruel and in any other population it would not be tolerated."
Here is my response:
I am the mother of a surviving triplet who was born at 24 weeks. If I would have stopped care as the doctors suggested I would not have my happy little miracle baby who is almost a year old and doing great! As for the comments made about torture. There are children undergoing painful treatments for cancer every day and I don't hear anyone saying just to let them die! As far as NICU staff goes, most were wonderful. Then there were those who acted angry at having to save my baby. I had rude comments made to me by nurses about "people treating their animals better" and was put under a lot of pressure from Doctors, until I finally put my foot down. What I am trying to say is that NICU staff needs to treat families with respect no matter what they decide, after all it is not your child. Maybe if you put yourself in their shoes, what if it were your child in the NICU? Or what if it were your child facing months maybe even years of pain and cancer treatments? Would you still feel the same way? If you don't want to save babies then maybe you shouldn't be working in a NICU. One thing is obvious these tiny babies fight hard for their lives. I held one of my boy's as he died and watched him gasp for breath, he died fighting. I will never forget this as long as I live.
Please be kind and watch what you say, you never know who may be reading your words!