Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A sad anniversary...




Today marks the one year anniversary of out little Lucas going to heaven. Just like with the anniversary of Davids death back in April this is a bittersweet day for us. I am sad that we are missing so much with Lucas, his first birthday, his smile, and that his brothers will never know him on earth. But, I rejoice, Lucas is celebrating one year in heaven today. One year with our Saviour. I often wonder if babies grow in heaven. If I go to heaven when I am a old lady will I have grown children waiting on me, or will I have sweet babies? Only God can know this but I like to think I have babies waiting on me, not only the two boy's I lost last year but the ones I lost even before we had the chance to know if they were little boy's or girl's. My personal belief is that they will be babies, simply because of the wonderful dream, I dream I believe was sent to me by God, a dream that gives me great hope, no matter what happens to me in this world. If you didn't read my blog about My dream please do! During my pregnancy with the triplets and the early NICU days I did a MySpace blog. I plan on somehow linking that to this, so you can read the story from the beginning. Right now I am going to copy the post that I wrote a year ago today, I wrote this from my hospital bed, as I was in the hospital again from the blood clots in my lungs:




Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:55 pm
Very sad....
I just wanted to let everyone know that our little Lucas went to heaven earlier this evening. While he passed he was in the arms of myself and his daddy. I know he was suffering greatly and that he is now in the arms of the Lord. As he passed there was such a peace in the room and I could feel the presence of God all around me. I know he went from our arms to Gods arms. I believe God took him home because he already had suffered so much and he fought such a brave fight. He had a severe brain bleed from birth, had he lived he may have been severely handicapped maybe blind and/or deaf. God took him home where he will be a happy healthy child and I know I will see him again, along with his brother David. I want to thank the Lord for giving us our Lucas for almost a month, I know it was in God's will that he go back to be with him. Thank you all for your prayers, continue to pray for Elijah, he continues to improve but it is such a long road. Once again Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts, I will continue to update on Elijah on here.
Love,
Denise





I have spent today with my little guy's. We had a great morning. I was finally able to take my toddler to the library for story hour. He had so much fun. This is something I have been wanting to do all winter, but couldn't risk taking Elijah out around a group of children, he would have most likely caught RSV from one of the little tykes!

Elijah all smiles at the library!

Enjoying a craft, and puzzles!


story time


Yes today is a sad day, but I am blessed to have my three boy's here with me, and my many children in heaven. Most of all I'm blessed because I know my Redeemer, and I know that because of him I will spend eternity with my children!

6 comments:

Lindsey's mom said...

Thinking of you on this day. God Bless.
Kathy in Alaska

Angel said...

Honey, I wish I can tell you it gets better and goes away, it doesn't. I'd be lying to you. Don't let anyone tell you you should be over it either.
I still mourn my 11 year old, I am writing a book about it. That is a part of you in heaven waiting for you.
It will get easier every year, and you will feel better but they will remain in your heart and mind. They are among the Hebrew 12 "cloud of witnesses" cheering you on, and the reunion will be joyful almost as joyful as seeing Jesus but not quite :)
I am praying for you, this was a wonderful post...I lost one and almpost another..I really really know where you are and I am praying for His comfort and his peace.

keira said...

Denise...we're in the PreemieBlogMoms group...though I don't post often. I had 25 weeker triplet girls almost 2 1/2 years ago and we lost Zoe last February. It was and continues to be the most devastating tragedy in my life. I want to tell you how inspired I am by your faith. I turned away from God initially but He has welcomed me back as I too came to the understanding the Zoe, like your little ones, are perfect and whole and experiencing a joy I can not comprehend. I know your babies and my Zoe are playing in Heaven together and I wish you continued peace and strength through our Saviour.

Kate K. said...

Dear Denise,

I'm also from the PreemieBlogMoms group. I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you find some small signs today that show you that your little ones miss you too and are thinking about you (perhaps you will see some rays of light sent down from above just for you).

Best wishes.

Kate K. said...

Dear Denise,

I'm also from the PreemieBlogMoms group. I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you find some small signs today that show you that your little ones miss you too and are thinking about you (perhaps you will see some rays of light sent down from above just for you).

Best wishes.

Michelle Riggs said...

Thinkng about you and praying for you. I am so sorry for your loss.